Instead, I will be schlepping off to an examination room tomorrow afternoon, to have an ultrasound wand jabbed in my most intimate places, while a woman reminds me to please breathe and can you just twist this way while I search for the right ovary?
My right ovary has opinions, especially surrounding being photographed. It’s a shy ovary, preferring to hide somewhere underneath my other internal organs and occasionally sending stabbing pains my way, so that I know it’s still kicking around in there.
It also has opinions about things like ovulating and not producing tens of cysts at a time, but who I am to tell it not to be argumentative, when it’s me it’s attached to.
This is, of course, the first ultrasound for this pregnancy. Hopefully this is also the one in which they confirm that a) there is a real embryo b) that said embryo is where it ought to be and not holidaying with my right ovary and c) that a heartbeat exists, somewhere that isn’t actually my heart – my heart being well behaved, if a teensy bit leaky.
I’m not concerned about my heart stopping suddenly, but an embryo seems rather more … fragile somehow.
I was reminded to drink three large glasses of water at least 30 minutes beforehand and to wear loose clothing. I resisted the urge to laugh maniacally at the receptionist on the other end of the phone line, while shouting “Lady, my uterus is wonky, there is no way you’re seeing anything from the outside.” I didn’t think she would appreciate hearing my insane cackle that bubbles up when my body is expected to behave in a normal fashion.
Really, the whole point of the ultrasound seems moot. Either I will have another baby, or I will not. Poking me with a dildo wand that silently shakes my uterus merely seems like a modern form of torture that we’re taught we need, in order to KNOW.
Being a big fan of KNOWING things however, I’ve insisted upon this myself and I am just hoping that it all looks sunny, down there in Uterusville.
Something a little brighter than death and destruction, please. I’ve put my order in now.
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12 responses to “I’d like to say that I’m going on a holiday, but I’d be lying”
Fingers crossed for you tomorrow xxx
Good luck!
I was surprised to find out with my second pregnancy that I didn’t have to have the wand if I didn’t want to. The operator just managed to find the fetus anyway. However, thankfully, my uterus is not prone to wonkiness or other disagreeable behaviours.
I hope all goes well….
My uterus is retroverted, so they can’t see anything externally until I hit around 14 weeks and the weight of the baby flips it forwards to where it ought to be.
Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow Veronica. I will have everything crossed for you, since it may be impossible for you at the time.
I love that description. Crossing everything for you tomorrow.
I look forward to hearing your sunny tale.
🙂
Fingers and toes crossed for you!!
Good luck, I remember those wands, they were always rather chilly and never took me out for dinner and a drink before hand.
Thinking of you today and hoping!
Thinking of you for this afternoon Veronica. That right ovary sounds like a but of a primadonna!
crossing my fingers for you.
internals are ick, and i hate them. i hope this one is painless and over very quickly.
The only time I ever had an ultrasound was when being checked for ovarian cysts.
Twenty years after I’d finished having babies!