With my recent posts on Asylum Seekers and my silence on the drama that continues to annoy me, you would be forgiven for thinking that I’m all ‘Live and Let Live!’.
I am not.
Especially not when it comes to roosters that are attacking my hens, drakes that are looking large enough to fit nicely in a roasting tray and mice.
I normally have a “don’t kill anything you’re not going to eat” policy. I can maintain this policy in the face of everything, except mice.
We have a mouse problem. Our mouse problem is so bad that I’ve schwacked two personally in the last week, making my mouse death count higher than the cats, although the second death is maybe only 50% mine, because I did require a cat to finish it off. Hiding under the oven gets you NO MERCY.
For the record, a good schwacker is one that is covered in plastic, so that you can wipe it clean of mouse eyeballs afterwards. You’re welcome.
***
We were moving the furniture around, rearranging couches and assorted piles of junk when Nathan shouts “MOUSE!”
Of course, I came running, from where I was avoiding heavy lifting by messing around on twitter and talking to my mother on the phone.
Tucking the phone between my shoulder and ear, I spotted the mouse immediately (with a little help from Nathan). Nat was holding one end of a couch in the air and the mouse was attempting to run away. Round and round we went, me chasing and the mouse skittering, with Nathan swearing at me to ‘just fucking kill it already, what ARE YOU DOING?’
Our brilliant teamwork paid off, as I walked to the back of the couch and went ‘Huh, where’d it go?’ only to lean down and find it, clinging to the back of the couch at eye level with me. I’m not sure who was more startled, but I certainly jumped less.
The mouse found a hiding spot and I picked up a schwacker that was lying around. Sometimes there are benefits to messy bedrooms.
“You drop the couch and I’ll schwack it” I said to Nathan.
He rolled his eyes at me, knowing how well my schwacking has gone in the past and did as he was told.
The mouse took one look at me, sitting in front of it, holding a photo album as a schwacker and then did the most sensible thing possible.
It ran towards me, like a suicide mouse.
So I sensibly schwacked it on the head, killing it. I still had the phone tucked between my ear and my shoulder, giving running commentary to my mother the whole time.
I dusted myself off, and left Nathan to clean up the squashed mouse, while I finished my conversation and wiped down the photoalbum with anti bacterial stuff.
***
Mice – 2543 Veronica – 2 .
I am very proud of my two kills.
Today there is a new mouse skittering around underneath my grill. I’m hoping to avoid having to bash it to death personally – you’d never guess it but I’m really not a fan of killing things – and have instead set a trap. I’d like to kill it before I have to scrub everything with antibacterial soap again.
Hell, I’d even like to be all zen about having mice in the house, but OMFG I JUST SAW ONE, RUNNING ACROSS MY CHOPPING BOARD. Again.
They’re lucky I’m not a farmers wife.
Would you care to bring your skills to my place, oh mighty mouse smitter of Tasmania? We have rats, not mice, but I’m sure the principle is the same. In particular, if you could get rid of the one that has taken up residence in the wall next to our bedroom, whose chewing is so loud it’s making our ears bleed, it’d be much appreciated.
OMG you poor thing……good schwacking though!!
now I had a dream last night about mice coming up through the sewer pipes and running amuck and looking for my lost mobile phone only to find my home phone in my handbag
……..yeah…weird I know…….
Yikes – mouse schwacking! We had a shocker of a time with them when we lived in Bendigo area. They used to come out and sit and watch us. It was freaky. Eventually we found out they were getting in through the pipes at the back of the dishwasher. Hope your schwacking score improves soon 🙂 Caz
Mouse eyeballs :gag:
I remember visiting friends in the Barossa Valley one Easter. We’d gone for a walk around the farm yard and all these mice just started racing past us. My friend just casually jumped from mouse to mouse. Squishing them underfoot as she went :: gag ::
I’d lend you my cat if possible. He regularly brings me bits of birds and the occasional live one. *headdesk* The hubby even saw him stalking a squirrel the other day. I don’t know if he’s ever caught one, at least no traces of one have appeared in my living room. But I doubt he’d help for more than a day. He gets bored quite easily. Silly cat.
My parent’s garage tended to get rats. They were huge. I say this as someone who was terrified of the little white mice that were popular pets with my sixth grade classmates.
Rodents are amazingly tenacious buggers. I wish you well and a plethora af sturdy, easily cleanable equipment to deal with them.
You need a flyswatter type schwacker. The grid pattern will instantly turn your mice into mousemince which you can then make mouse burgers with.
For your cats of course, because clearly they are too classy to eat raw mice.
Ack! I’m glad I don’t have mice! Just a rat, and she’s in her cage, and is clean and cute and very sociable! 😉
I feel for you. I found out we had mice when I found mouse droppings in my food processor bowl. I was not amused. Fortunately it was a while ago and I’ve recovered from the experience. Just.
Well done on the calm, keep it up.
Baits. We’ve caught and released, we’ve done traps, all you get is little mouse bodies to deal with one at a time and they breed faster than that. Bad luck to being kind and responsible, we have baits out.
hehehe i needed a giggle – the thought of the startled look when you found it clinging to the back of the couch was hilarious – thanks
I’m like you – all live and let live, except for cockroaches – nuke them I cry. We have a cat who is now 17 years old, up until about 3 years ago he was a mouse catcher extraordinaire – I once say him with a mouse in in mouth and a mouse under each front paw – with a puzzled look on his face – like bugger what do I do now? That is a whole other story. Anyway about 2 years ago we had a mouse come into our house, and I did my best to encourage it to leave. But in the end we had to use a trap, I felt so sorry for the mouse. One mouse, I can handle – as many as you have – not so much, but swacking them – you are a wonder woman for that act, I would have run a mile. xxx
I could never kill a mouse. Not that I’m Ghandi. I’m just chicken.
hahah, show no mercy. mice control ain’t the prettiest….
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