In defence of frivolity

A few years ago, I noticed my mental health falling apart. Social media, while being my favourite place with my favourite people, was making it worse. That’s not an indictment on what everyone else was posting, it was solely a symptom of how *I* was using social media. Swim in the mud for long enough and everything gets muddy and awful, y’know?

So I made a conscious decision to change how I used social media, solely for my mental health. Instead of being publicly angry about politics, I started posting photos of chickens, and kittens, and telling stories again.

Don’t get me wrong, I still follow politics closely – as a disabled autistic woman, I cannot afford to NOT follow politics closely, when their decisions affect my daily living. I still shout at the TV a lot, and obsess over things.

But I didn’t talk about it online so much. I had no spoons for being furious on the internet anymore, and I didn’t have the mental capacity for balancing other people’s fury either. So, I rejigged things.

It’s a balancing act, for sure, because objectively, the world is terrible, people in positions of power suck, inequalities make my head want to explode, there aren’t enough vaccines because our government fucked up, the NSW number of Covid cases are making me incredibly stressed, and disability politics make me so furiously exhausted I can’t function.

So instead I post photos of Marigold’s babies, and talk about Spark, our new rescue kitten. I take photos of Theo (our other new kitten) and his perpetual naughtiness. (WHY DOES HE LIKE EGG SHELLS SO MUCH?!! WHYYYYY DOES HE STEAL THEM FROM THE BIN!!!) I talk about the hen who WASN’T MINE, who showed up with fifteen babies, clearly fathered by my roosters. (WHYYYY)

Focusing on the small things doesn’t make the big shit easier, but it does make my coping strategies work better.

I cannot make the world better, but I can make my corner of it a small safe haven for frivolous things. For anecdotes, and stories, for kittens and comfort. I can’t fix covid, or disability, or how fucked the NDIS is and the ways in which the governments are failing the people.

But I can look after myself, and my friends, in a very small way.

And being frivolous in the face of all the very big and awful things feels subversive, in a way. The internet doesn’t need me adding another hot take on vaccinations to the mix (but y’know, please get jabbed once your local area has supply for you), but maybe I can make a tiny part of people’s day better.

Plus, these kittens of mine are ADORABLE and I love them to bits and so yes, you’re getting photos of them all day every day, thank you.

So post the frivolous things, even in the face of so much awful. You’re not failing the world when you need a moment to stop and breathe, or when you find a patch of peace and want to share it.

You’re allowed.