So, picture this:
You start a blog. You write stories, you read stories, you comment on stories. Slowly, people drift towards you and read your stories. Three, six, twelve months in, you’ve got a popular platform, full of stories and the traffic, while not spectacular, is decent enough.
First, one PR company notices you. Then another and another and another.
And you’re flattered, you really are. You write stories on the INTERNET and suddenly, these real companies want to send you real things, to write about. You accept something here, a little thing there. You amaze yourself with what you can do, with what people want to give you.
The stuff accumulates in a box under your desk, or maybe it’s under your bed. There is stuff everywhere and a feeling, hanging over your head, like you’re forgetting something.
You’re trying so hard to keep up with the stuff, that you don’t realise you haven’t written any stories lately.
The emails flood in, but not the comments. Traffic doesn’t drop – much – but it doesn’t grow either.
Companies love you, but new readers don’t stay long. Giveaways coax in the traffic, but it drifts away again.
You notice that you aren’t telling stories when you find yourself clenching your teeth at night, trying to work out when to write about the stuff sitting under your desk, gathering dust. When nothing fits into your schedule anymore, when you’re trying to keep everyone happy and failing.
So maybe you say no to the stuff. Or maybe you add a disclaimer that you’ll accept the stuff, but not always write about it. Maybe you quit, because it’s all too much pressure and like hard work.
Or maybe, you’ll just start telling stories again. They’ll bubble over and out and you’ll try and find your balance – that knife edge where you’re only writing about the things you want to write about, without being guilt tripped into anything else.
But you’ll backslide, because guilt trips are everywhere. Children are starving to death and look at this great cause and omg someone should raise awareness.
Maybe you’ll notice. Maybe you won’t.
It won’t matter terribly much, but here’s the thing:
People love stories.
PR companies love people.
People do not love PR stories.
It’s a messy cycle and it’s easy to get caught up and spit out. The sludge of stats and subscribers and traffic and stuff and money and events and needtowriteaboutthis and pitch this and promote that and help the cause and and and…
It’s all just a bit much.
I want the stories back.
Brava. Yes. This is exactly why I shut down my review blog. I have no need for dusty stuff under my desk, when what I want to do is write fun stuff that people like to read.
Me too. I miss the stories.
I miss the way it all used to be.
She’s right.
Indeed.
Too true, I stopped blogging and have only just returned. Sometimes it’s just so hard to post with a purpose but after a break I’m back with a stronger sense of determination, as I now find I miss all those stories I didn’t post while on hiatus. Now I’m writing for me, as experience has taught me you do go back and oh and ah about a story of your child that is 4 years old and truthfully it feels really good 🙂
What a great post… I don’t want this dilemma. Still waiting for RM Williams to send their ‘stuff’ to me tho. LOL.
I ? the (quality of my) visitors over the ‘stuff’ and ‘ads’ any old day.
🙂
BB
BTW the question mark should be a HEART in last comment. *sigh*
Good post Missy.
I know that I have shared this story before. Someone landed on my blog with the search term ” I think my daughter has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and I am frightened”
They read all my EDS stuff and then left via you, Bendy girl and Achelois blogs. The three people I would have recommended they speak to if I had met this person in real life.
It is the things like that keep me blogging.
This is where I struggle so hard. I love to write about my shit, and I’ve only, after 10 years of blogging, have put a PR section up. But my popularity was way back when people didn’t make money blogging, and I refused to get on that bandwagon. I still sort of refuse to get on that bandwagon, because my space is my own. No matter how good or how shitty the traffic, I want it to be an ad free space where people can read about shit. I won’t ever review products. Like you said, it’s just fluff, and the minute I start doing that, is the minute I take my blog down. If I “review” something, it’s generally something I paid for, but even that is a rarity. I’m not selling people’s shit for free. Being an account manager for so many years, time is money. And I barely have time to blog.
Ditto! I admit, I got lost there for a while. I’m enjoying getting back to storytelling again and trying to find a healthy balance.
Love your mum’s comment.
I like your stories 🙂
And blogging should be fun, not stressful. Only do what makes you happy.
Hi Veronica! I love your stories, too. I ignore ads on blogs. For TV and radio I go the public route trying to avoid ads altogether. I enjoy your blog because it’s real, and the real stuff is the good stuff… I don’t need much material stuff. The human connection is the beauty of the internet, and you are very good at that, young though you are.
No PR companies crashing my inbox, but it’s amazing how majority of the time I am glad about that. Because every point you have made is so TRUE!
I have edged away from a few blogs after they went downhill into looking like a billboard of different companies, the content was never about the blogger any more, just about the company that they were being paid by/receiving freebies to review.
I LOVE give away’s, don’t get me wrong. But there is a balance bloggers need to realise with keep the PR companies happy and their readers too.
You don’t have to always say “yes”
Great post! xx
Well said!
I thought it was fun getting a few things sent to me. But really in all hoestly they can become a bit of a drag.
Plus when you want to write a story it can be hard to really get into it as your brain keeps telling you, that you should be writing a post about……. for the PR company….
Stories are good
Stories make a blog real
“I want the stories back”.
No problem.
Tell the PR companies “no, thanks” and get the stories back.
There’s plenty of others (who aren’t me….because I don’t do that), who can and will do the reviews of products, causes etc.
Put some joy back in your internet.
I know what you mean.
It’s hard to balance, isn’t it?
I try to not do too much in the way of PR stuff, just because I know it’s an added thing on my MUST DO list, and I don’t like that list at the best of times. (who really needs the laundry done anyway… right? >_< )
It’s why I have given myself a free pass. No writing for anyone else. No PR. No ads. I want to be writing stories. I want to be free to do it when I can, when they come to me.
I came here because of your writing. It was never an ad or a review that brought me here. It was a wonderful piece of writing. It’s why I stay, waiting for more, loving them as they come.
Chicky-Babe I think I’ve mentioned this before.
To thine own self be true.
Write what YOU want to write.
And be buggered to all the rest
Absolutely.
(as for your missing underwear … I’ll just have to find a way to surreptitiously give them back. The old ‘fetish’ thing, you know?)
100% agreement
If you figure out how to make a living by haphazardly updating my blog with the occasional story, would you please let me know?
I started considering trying to make money awhile back – you kind of inspired me. I thought – “Hey, Veronica’s doing it…why not me?”
So I started writing all these blogs in advance.
And I started trying to comment more.
And I stopped having fun.
I figured it out in about two weeks that it’s not for me. Keeping a blog’s stats up is a full time job, and I started my blog to have fun and just tell the occasional story.
But then I start seeing other blogs getting stuff, and awards, and notice, and… and I start wondering…why not me? So I start writing stuff to post more often. And I…
Etc, etc, etc, repeat ad nauseum.
I feel ya, sister.
Oh sistah… I hear you. I was chatting with another “long time” blogger just yesterday about this. We agreed… we miss the “way it used to be”. Which feels a bit mean because there were so few of “us” all those years ago and it doesn’t mean we wish the newbies weren’t here… it just means we wish the PR companies hadn’t jumped in and decided who was “more important” and deserved more “stuff” etc etc.
My poor little now-password-protected blog is just a shadow of it’s former self. And part of that is because it’s so raw and honest and “old-school”. Now things seem to be more about sound-bites and fast-wit. Back then it was more about truly caring and supporting and creating communities.
Can’t wait to read your stories again. xox
It’s a balancing act that’s for sure. I’ve had some great experiences through being involved in the PR side (and so have my kids) but I do feel the pressure and the guilt too ~ and I don’t like it.
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