I keep repeating to myself. I will NOT have a panic attack. I will not. Nope, not at all.
It’s not working of course, but I’ll keep repeating it anyway.
***
When I was little, Mum and Dad slaughtered a pig in the middle of summer. Only to have their refrigerator and freezer die that same day. Much stress ensued and much pork was eaten.
Mum is planning on slaughtering her pigs this weekend. We’ve been discussing it, knowing that a fair amount of the meat was going to be stored in my freezer.
‘How’s your freezer?’ asks Mum this morning.
‘Fine’ I said, ‘waiting for the pigs!’
HA! HAHAHAHAHA. HAAAAA.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
UGH.
This morning, after I spoke to mum, I opened my freezer.
And everything was defrosted.
Everything.
Seems that the power surge we had a few days ago has blown my freezer up. The lights are on, but the temperature is not frozen. Sigh.
I rang my insurance and yes, it will be covered, just jump through these hoops, stand on your head and spin three times.
Fine, I can do that.
Everything was fine.
FINE.
Fine.
Until we started to do the washing.
Now, the washing machine is plugged into the same power point as the freezer. Most everything else we own is plugged into surge protected boards. Thank God.
Half way through a wash, the machine stopped. It started playing up, all the buttons flashed and it refused to spin anymore. Fine. Stop/restart. Same issue.
Finally we got a load of washing finished.
And then everything went downhill.
It’s a front load washing machine, which means that it has a door lock, to prevent the door opening midcycle.
Seems the door lock is electronic and has forgotten how to disengage.
On top of the machine not wanting to spin or wash or WORK.
Broken.
I rang my insurance again, and got the now broken washing machine added to my recent claim. They’ll repair it, or replace it, depending on what the electrician has to say.
Fuck. It just never rains does it?
***
In other news, Panic Attacks. The Reason For.
Go and read this post. Go on, I’ll wait. La. lalaalaa. Laaa.
Right, you’re back?
Hello.
The hospital rang today.
We have an appointment in about 3 weeks, to see the Paediatric Coordinator (the head honcho) about Amy and Isaac’s genetic test results.
I’m worried because when the orders for the Coeliac genetic screen was put through we were told that our regular Paed would give us the results. Then, we were told to ring for the results. Then, we were told the results were too complex and involved to be discussed over the phone and could we please come in for an earlier appointment. Oh and by the way, you’ll be seeing Dr B, the big boss guy.
Today, the nurse rang to let me know about the sooner appointment. She made a point of telling me it would be with Dr B, and not one of the Registrars.
Shit.
So I’m a little stressed.
A teensy bit.
A whole lot.
So, Dear Internets, what do you think? Stressing for no reason, or justified? Where you are, would you have to see the Boss Guy just for a simple Coeliac Gene Screen?
i’d be stressing. Sorry hun 🙁
No wonder you are stressing. I’m so sorry you are dealing with all this stuff, all at the same time too. When is the sooner appointment? Just so I can advise you on how stressed to be…
Yeah, stress is in order after all that. Thing is there isn’t a damn thing you can do about any of it so the stressing is a waste. How about cuddling with the kiddos instead. Screw the rest.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…
I’d be stressed. Oh yes, I would.
mother of god. surely common decency — or a teeny second of put-yourself-in-this-persons-shoes — would lead them to either TELL YOU something about the problem to reassure you or (ideally) give you an immediate appointment?
way to go, medical system.
and, you know, most likely they’re just thinking CYA, and what they tell you won’t be anything like as bad as you’ve imagined.
but — yeah. I would be stressing.
I know what it is like waiting for these type of results it’s nail biting right down to the knuckles.
I hope the Head Guy wants to see you to save you being arsed around by the other drs and because A & I are very important people and deserve the very best.
I hope the wait goes quickly.
It sucks when everything breaks down all at once … hope you get the clothes out of front loader does it have a drain anywhere on the cycle or a ‘drain’ period. I am sure ours does and it’s over 15 yrs old.
I don’t want to make you panic, But I’m stressed FOR you.
Fingers crossed.
Oh, and about the washing machine and freezer…it never just rains.
The only thing you can do about that is laugh. (Even if it’s through gritted teeth)
We have an empty freezer here if Kim wants to store some pork…we also have empty bellies if she would like to store some more pork, although I don’t take responsibility for what happens to that pork 🙂
ps I had to google CYA and yeah I agree !
BTW I would be stressing too xx.
For what it’s worth, I think this: the tests have been done, the results have come in, yo have three weeks to wait. Hospitals are known for overkill when it comes to results – if it’s any less than absolutely straight forward, they have to deliver them in person. It’s called “arse-covering”. Also, it really might not be bad news, it might just be “complicated” news. Something they haven’t seen before and of great interest to them but which makes no discernible difference to you or your children’s lives.
I say, try not to worry. Try not to dwell. Deal with whatever comes *when* it comes. Keep breathing. Accept the hugs of the people who love you and the ether hugs of those who don’t know you but wish they did!
I’d be stressing regardless of whether it was justified or not… it’s how I cope as a mother. I worry, I work through all possible outcomes while I worry until I think I have a handle on coping with anything… of course I don’t but I think I do and that’s what counts!
If it helps any we were sent to see the head honcho allergy woman but only because the girls’ results weren’t easy to interpret, not because it was something terrible… they just needed someone with heaps of experience to untangle the information. No idea if that would be similar with what your facing though…
Hate to add to the stress factor. But yes, my panic button would definitely be on overdrive. I’m really sorry that The Shitness Asshole won’t cut you some slack. Lotsa hugs.xoxoxo
Not sure what to tell you. I’m pretty good at not thinking about scary things if I don’t have to, which can be both a good trait and an unhealthy trait, depending upon the situation. Since you have no choice in the matter, I would try to do what you can to relax. Not saying that’s easy, but worth a try. Stressing won’t change the outcome, will it?
Gah, stress. On another note, I set up a page for Sleepless Nights on Facebook (am I insane? yes, a little).
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sleepless-Nights/361847322489
Totally justified stressing. I recommend large quantities of chocolate to help you through. And I hope you get a new freezer in time to store the pork, otherwise you’ll have to dry it and eat a lot of pork jerky. Ditto new washing machine. Did you manage to get the washed clothes out somehow? Or are they still in there? Are y’all running around nekkid?
Hi I have just found your site, I know it’s hard but stressing doesn’t change anything. You will cope because you have too.
River – Nat did something creative with a butterknife and uh… something, to get the washing out. The doorlock is completely broken though and the washing machine is testy to say the least.
Keep swimming.
I don’t think it can be disastrous news or you would have an appointment NOW not in a couple of weeks or so. Probably just some weird anomoly which the Big Guy finds interesting. I’m keeping my fingers crossed but whatever the outcome you will manage to deal with it somehow.
Really crap about the freezer and washing machine but yay for
JasonNathan [edit here by Veronica] and his trusty butter knife skills 😉Have just been reminded that it’s Nathan not Jason – sorry folks, I’m quietly going senile here 😉
The NDM’s comment has made me feel better, As has the half a box of chocolate tiny teddies I am eating.
Yeah, the NDM is on the money, but I’d be stressing too 🙁 No, a simple yes / no on Coeliacs doesn’t warrant seeing a head honcho – I speak as someone whose two daughters have both had the Coeliac genetic screen and one came up +ve, one -ve, but neither one was in any way escalated, we just saw our regular paed for the results. Still I think it is probably some strange complicated little genetic tweak rather than something awful – all fingers & toes crossed for you.
Aw Von, huge hugs. I wonder if its *just* because of the EDS and the hospital have only just kicked into OMFG we have to treat these people and don’t know what to do total panic mode. Usually results in having to see the head doctor partly because of their panic but partly because it saves time/money not having to repeatedly send a more junior doctor to consult with that senior. These days when I go to the hospital it’s really rare I see a junior doctor & when it does happen it’s typically because the senior doc wants the more junior to get the revelant experience.
Whatever the reason I’m sure if it was anything seriously nasty they’d picked up they’d have got you and the kids in much sooner than 3 weeks away. Fingers crossed that’s the case and all will be well BG Xx
I’d be stressed, I really would. That said, I saw the head of cardiology at Toronto’s Hospital for Sick Children when the Princess had to have a test for her heart just because I have a congential heart defect. (Her heart is completely normal). So you never know.
Hugs.
I agree with BG if it was ‘life threatening’ on the panic, shit; oh my god I can’t cope level they would have you in. I do think its a positive thing that you are seeing someone more ‘important’. Take a notebook, ask for a copy of any test results written in plain english, take a friend. Don’t worry about what you don’t know. Look at the children playing, laughing, eating; talking and walking and breathe.
Have you been checked out for POTS/thyroid… Veronica with regard to panic attacks as although I understand the percieved cause,, sometimes physical reasons for the onset can be triggered entirely by shock, grief. I now know that my percieved panic attacks are caused by ‘real’ palpitations caused by POTS symptoms. Its reassuring. Being afraid of having one is the most likely cause of having another! Hypnotherapy can be really good for easing the severity.
Electrical blowout – OH MY GOD – how stressful.
Haven’t read all the comments – feel crap crap crap crap crap. Will later tonight when more medicated and don’t have to drive.
House is so untidy even I can’t believe it. Wish I lived near – we could laugh hysterically together about our lot in life. Keep swimming – keep smiling – keep swimming.
Big gentle virtual hug and try hard not to worry about the appointment – hard I know but each time it comes into your mind, trick the brain into thinking about something else. Worrying yourself sick will make no difference to the outcome sweetpea.
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxxo
Breathe breathe breathe breathe.
I wish you lived down the road. I’d bring you a cup of tea and we could chat.
Oh, I’d be throwing up constantly and curling in a fetal position around the toilet if I were in your shoes, so all things considered, you’re doing pretty well.
I would be freaking out too if I were you! *hugs*
Like you said, just keep swimming, just keep swimming. xxx
Oh no way dude. Take a Xanax. I’d be stressed to high hell if I had all that going on right now.
Well they say things happen in 3 so there you go – you are over the worst!
(HUGS)
The genetics tests, specialists and results are sometimes the worst things a parent can face *shudder*.
((hugs))
Oh Veronica!! It is probably nothing. Here in the US, everything is so secret and with all our health care laws, nothing is passed over the phone anymore.
PS: Panic attacks SUCK!
PPS: Check out my new blog, please 🙂 Send me something 🙂 http://www.idressedmyself.net
Oh honey, I would be stressed out of my MIND. I will be thinking of you. Hugs.
xx
Wow. I’m stressing just reading all of this. Saying a prayer for you guys.
god that would drive me insane!!!! but (since i’d be forced to think positively rather than actually go insane!) i’d have to imagine that if it were *really* bad news, they’d have to see me immediately to get whatever treatment balls rolling, right?!? 3 weeks is a looooooong time, but you’ll get there!
I find myself singing ‘just keep swimming’ under my breath some days. Particularly if the children are being hideous in public.
I’m not surprised you are feeling a tad stressed. Fingers crossed that the big boss doctor is really nice and the appointment goes smoothly.
just keep swiming…
((hugs)) … you can’t change what you will hear, only your attitude. And you have a great attitude.
And, if you can’t swim… float. or shout for a life vest… someone will come to your rescue!
I think there’s a lesson in here somewhere… something like “Let the pigs live!!!”
Or is it just co-inky-dinky?
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