My blog is not about you, or what you want.

by Veronica on January 28, 2012

in Headfuck, Soapbox

In the last couple of months, I’ve seen a few posts about the tracks that haven’t sat terribly well with me. Bloggers trying to justify why they’re not reading a certain other blog, or why they’re not commenting, or not driven to subscribe.

And I’m here to say:

My blog is not about you, or what you want.

No, it really really isn’t. It REALLY isn’t.

I write my blog because it makes me happy. I’ve slowly developed a like-minded community here, who enjoy what I write and have followed me along in this journey. Frankly, this is awesome and this is what I want.

But if you think I am weeping at night, wondering why you are not reading my blog, then, I’m sorry, but you’re sorely mistaken.

If my blog doesn’t do it for you, then move on. Don’t whinge about what I need to change (or what any blogger needs to change) in order to get you as a reader. Find someone else who is more your cup of tea instead.

I know that a lot of topics turn a lot of people off. For the record, no one is holding a gun to your head and making you read.

People blog for a lot of different reasons. I blog for connection. I want to connect with those people who read my words and get something out of it. If I write a post about the hell of PCOS periods, or the miserableness of watching a pregnancy slide down my legs in the shower, then I am writing those words for myself.

However, I am also writing them for the people out there who have felt those same emotions, or who find the post later and are so grateful that someone else knows how it feels.

I’m not writing for the candy-floss readers, who want my blog to be funny and lighthearted all the time. My blog reflects my real life, not the life I wish I was living.

There are topics out there that turn a lot of people off. Poo seems to be the latest DON’T YOU DARE WRITE ABOUT IT.

I’m here to tell you that if shit is a big part of your kids life, then shit will make it onto the blog.

And I’ll admit – I am sensitive in this case. Isaac’s bowel issues have gone from moderately annoying, to severe and impacting on our lives and I am at the end of my tether.

You can’t decide what I can and can’t write about, just to fit it in with your pretty sensibilities.

You can make the decision to only read what you want to read and not be an arse about it though.

I love my readers and my community here, but I will never be writing about pop culture and the pretty shiny things in life. I have one kid who scales the cupboards and steals my chocolate while screaming like a banshee, and another kid who can’t chew properly, can’t poo and won’t eat most food, while I spend a lot of the day downing anti-nausea drugs and trying not to puke, dislocate or miscarry.

THAT is my real life. THAT is what is happening here on a daily basis.

And if you don’t want to see that reflected in my writing, then I’m not sure this blog is for you.

Tiff January 28, 2012 at 11:45 am

Well said.

Melissa January 28, 2012 at 11:52 am

Very well said 🙂

Anne January 28, 2012 at 11:53 am

Well said! And I love your blog!

Mum on the Run January 28, 2012 at 11:57 am

Hee hee.
Even the title made me giggle!
Bravo!
🙂

Jodie January 28, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Here here! Way too much whining going on at the moment… Even if some of my favorite blogs have the odd post I don’t connect with or agree with, i just wait for the next one that does or move along quietly and expect the same will be done with mine. I guess it’s like lots of things in life where some people are just chronic complainers and unrealistic in their expectations.

Watershedd January 28, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Thumbs up here, V. Write for you. X

Veronica January 28, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Thanks everyone. I was a bit worried about how you would take this post, but I shouldn’t have concerned myself!

For the record, I do love when you read here and I love when new readers find me and find a connection here, but I can’t be happy happy joy joy, just to pander to people who would prefer that.

Jess January 28, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Very well said! Next time they deliver phone books I think something like this should be included!

Julie January 28, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Well said.

Madmother January 28, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Here, here!

Bright & Precious January 28, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I agree. Very well said.

Toushka Lee January 28, 2012 at 1:00 pm

*nods*
Very true. I haven’t seen the whinging, thankfully. But I agree. totally.

Rex January 28, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Exactly, you say it very well. I never want to read anything that is just said to get more readers, what’s the point of that?

Its nice to find your blog.

Toni January 28, 2012 at 1:17 pm

THIS. is why I come here. You’re real.

Jenn @ Fox in the City January 28, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Here here!! I write for myself and I write for those I have connected with . . . if you don’t like what I write about click the little red x at the top right of the screen.

Mandy January 28, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I like to see my blog readership increase, its rewarding and nice to think you’re not talking to yourself. That said, sometimes I do tune out when I read stuff that is find out what your readers want….. my blog is a personal / parenting blog. Like you, I am always driven by what makes me happy, and I hope that someone else feels the same. Great post.
PS. I always tell 1st time expecting parents, that when you become a parent, life becomes all about the poo. It’s so true, it’s the topic of conversation from the day they’re born till they are at least 5!

Tania Pendlebury January 28, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Love this blog, I have only just found you and find your words made me smile, as well as think is that what blogs should be about, making you happy, whether to vent, share, improve lifestyles, connect,whatever, as long as at the end of the day we are happy, We only have one life,(that I know of) so to be as happy as we can in it, then I say keep blogging for you.
Thanks

eccentricess January 28, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Hi Tania!
So love small world moments. 😀
Esse

river January 28, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I wish my brain would put words together as well as yours does.
As for those people who whinge about not liking blogs, just move on people! There are so many other blogs you can choose from. Don’t hang around whining about someone not writing what you want to read. Scroll around and find what you like. Be happy instead.

Christie @ Fig & Cherry January 28, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Good on you V.

Alex aka Whoa Mumma January 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Well said Veronica! I wish I could write like you xx

Sharnee January 28, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Hell yeah!

Pixie January 28, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Well said hon.
You write honestly and from the heart

Hugs

Stimey January 28, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Right on, sister.

Dannie (A Dose of Dannie) January 28, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Hell yeah Go V! 🙂

Mum's the Word January 28, 2012 at 3:58 pm

exactly what I think V! Good on you for shouting this out to people who think we need to conform for them!!!

Alexandra January 28, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Mmmhm.

Blogging because it makes me happy.

I am lucky to have followers who enjoy my posts. But I also love reading posts that are real, and part of someone, like this one.

eccentricess January 28, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Write because it needs to come out from your fingers and I’ll read what interests me. Sounds like blogging to me!

Dorothy @ Singular Insanity January 28, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Thank you, Veronica. I’ve been sorely tempted to write this post, but just didn’t have the energy to devote to the people that write those kind of posts. They have been really bugging me and impacting on my blogging mojo. On the one hand I want my blog to grow, but on the other, how do I do that without losing the true purpose of my blog?

If the bloggers writing these posts truly want to help, then there are better ways of doing so. I think that they’re just trying to get attention by shit-stirring. I find myself much less inclined to read those blogs now, because putting people down is not really funny.

My blog and my life may be a trainwreck, but at least I’m true to myself and do what makes me feel better.

Maid In Australia January 28, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Oh yes, I like this post! Shit yes!

Anna @ green tea n toast January 28, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Interesting post. I’m slowly learning about this blogging community and it sure is interesting. Thanks for the insight and perspective. I wrote about one of the taboo topics this week – naughty me – but you’re right, it’s because it’s part of my life right now and that’s what my blog is about.

Ames January 28, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Eff yeah!!

edenland January 28, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Concurring.

I wrote about poo last week …. a loooot of poo. Is that not allowed? Keep losing my damn blogging rulebook. Think Rocco shat on it.

Barbara January 29, 2012 at 7:15 am

I don’t think I’d read you if you weren’t about your real life. Your blog is a bit like a conversation. I love following it.

I suspect that the people who come up with “rules for blogging” are very tense people who try to control too much. Cookers to them frankly.

Amie January 29, 2012 at 8:03 am

I love reading your blog, I look forward to it. You write beautifully, even when it’s shit…

Kathy January 29, 2012 at 5:12 pm

There are not enough Likes in the world for this comment 🙂

jessica January 29, 2012 at 9:18 am

I wish I had been reading your blogs from very early on…I love them becasue you are authentic and you are you! Keep being you! You did say it well to those others that are highly opinionated about blogs/bloggers. Have an awesome weekend! 🙂 Jess

Signe January 29, 2012 at 10:16 am

Yesterday I went to a BBQ with some lovely ladies. They were really into nutrition, knew so many amazing things, how change of diet can help all sorts of things. ADHD, MS, allergies, asthma and so on. It was a super rewarding conversation… until I said the word “bowl”. I didn’t say shit, I didn’t even say poo. Just bowl. I had to pull the ‘I’m a foreigner card’ and say ‘sorry, I can feel I’ve hit a tabu’ and we changed subject, but what on earth is on with people?
What goes on in our intestines is just as important as what goes on in the rest of our bodies. If your kid has problems with his bowls, that is WORTH TALKING ABOUT! You talk woman, and you keep talking. It is important. Both for you, for us and for everone else.
I can only join in with the chorus: do you thing, you do it well!

Happy Elf Mom January 29, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I didn’t read the nasty comment but it does sound more about jealousy because you do have a large readership. Your “poo” post was entirely appropriate and *concerning* actually. I didn’t walk away with a “how dare she post that” but more “that poor kiddo, hope they can fix it soon” feeling.

I am sorry you are dealing with this negativity just when you are opening up about something that is hard to talk about and looking for answers.

Veronica January 29, 2012 at 4:11 pm

No, there wasn’t a nasty comment, just a blog post (that wasn’t about me, or anyone in particular) that got my back up. On top of a series of “please don’t blog about poo” facebook/twitter/blog updates.

Kathy January 29, 2012 at 5:19 pm

I agree with you completely. The Internet is a big, wide universe and there is something for everyone, which is what makes it both awesome and terrifying at the same time. If a blog’s content isn’t to your taste, there are plenty of other blogs – PLENTY – to explore that may be more your cup of tea, and that is fine. I don’t go at ALL for the idea of people trying to control other blogs’ content, style or voice.

As for your blog, it is, and has always been, a well-written, engaging, insightful, sometimes heart-rending, sometimes funny, always worthwhile addition to my reading day. I love your style, your outspokenness, your wisdom and your authenticity. Sometimes poo is where it’s at, and that is just dandy, because that is life.

Carly Findlay January 29, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Well written V, like everything you write. My heart broke when I read about you losing a pregnancy in the shower.

Personally I don’t like reading about poo or vomit, but the internet is a big place and it’s easy to look elsewhere. I also understand that people write about what’s personal/happening with them, and if poo’s where their life is at, so be it. I bet all of my readers don’t like reading the gory parts of my skin either.

Having said that, maybe because of my tendency not to like reading about poo, or even intricacies of illness, I try not to reveal too many yucky parts of my illness on my blog.

I hope the bloggy/internet nasties don’t get to you too much – you need your rest to nurture that little baby that’s making an entrance soon.

Renee January 29, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Well said. I have a child with special needs, sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s messy and sometimes people don’t want to hear about it. That’s fine. Don’t read my blog.

You are doing an amazing job with your 2.5 kids – in sometimes challenging conditions. I find your blog inspiring and your writing so engaging, I am still happy to read and be allowed an insight into your world – even if it is sometimes filled with poo. 😉

Dr Bron January 30, 2012 at 9:42 am

I agree with you totally. My kids are all teens so it would be a bit disturbing if I wrote about poo. Sometimes I blog about my parenting research, because I think it is fascinating (well, duh, of course I do!), but if my readers don’t want to read it…. well, it’s a free country, right?

Sharon January 30, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Good grief, since when did it become about pandering to an audience? I’m the same as you, V, blogging about real life and that real life is hard and shitty and painful. If someone wanted me to lighten things up I’d be telling them where to stick that light.

Keep doing what you are doing. You do it so well.

Marylin January 31, 2012 at 1:32 am

You go, girl! *hugs* xxx

Marita January 31, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Brilliant post Veronica.

We blog for ourselves and in my case so I can remember later on what I did (in my case later on can be years, days or hours later :D).

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