Not recommended: Getting stoned before visiting a medical professional.

by Veronica on March 1, 2013

in Food-Issues, Gotta Laugh

It’s not a new thing for me to get carsick when we travel. What is new is the increasing severity of my motion sickness and the limited amount of travel it takes to make me want to puke. When I was a kid, provided I had eaten breakfast and we weren’t driving for more than an hour, I would be fine.

Post third baby however, I feel like throwing up a mere 10 minutes into our drives. Bear in mind that we live at least 30 minutes from the supermarket and even further away from our myriad of doctors. You can imagine where this is going, can’t you?

Yesterday I knew that we needed to travel an hour into the city to see Isaac’s dietician for the first time. He’s starting a low FODMAP diet for various issues and we needed to put a plan in place. I was already feeling queasy at the thought, so I made myself eat buttered toast and a piece of fruit – my go-to cures for a wobbly tummy. I also rather sensibly took a maxalon (anti-nausea tablet) that I’m prescribed.

But then, I was stupid.

Self, I thought. Self, you’ve got some travel sickness pills in the medicine cabinet.

I really didn’t want to be puking sick for the first time meeting a professional (I save that for visit three) so I read the directions. “Take 1-2 tablets 30 minutes before travel.”

Seems sensible, right? I popped two tablets (my first mistake), finished my cup of tea (probably my second mistake) and finished getting ready (definitely my third mistake.)

By the time we were thirty minutes into our car trip, my mouth felt weird. My fingers were tingling and I had the driest throat, ever. I was having a hard time resisting the urge to squeal “WHEEEEE!” around all the corners and my inner ears were so messed up that while I had a headache and a bit of dizziness, I was not feeling sick in the slightest.

By the time we parked the car and headed to our appointment, I was smashed. I wanted to giggle at everything. EVERYTHING. THAT TREE IS SO FUNNY OH GOD KILL ME NOW.

Our wait time was 30+ minutes and I was hoping while we were waiting that I might start to come down. Oh yeah, laugh at the stupid stoned girl. The baby was fussy so we paced the waiting room – Evelyn sadly chewing on my shoulder (omnomnomnomnom) and me trying not to walk like an astronaut during the moon landing. I also had to bite my lip to keep from dying laughing when Evie grabbed Nathan’s cup of water, spilling it all over his pants. It wasn’t really that funny, in hindsight.

During the appointment I tried to keep my brain on task, carefully listing all of Isaac’s liked foods and listening intently to all the things he can no longer eat. I promptly forgot everything. Luckily she wrote notes for me all over the information package she handed to us.

In the car on the way home, I fell asleep. I haven’t slept in a car since I was ten years old (and thinking about it, probably high on the same travel sickness pills).

I was in bed at 7.30pm last night, unable to stay awake any longer. Things weren’t funny anymore. Actually, things were decidedly unfunny. (GO TO SLEEP CHILDREN, FOR THE LOVE OF GAHHHHHH MUMMY IS DYING)

This morning I have a hangover.

But hey, I didn’t puke in the car.

Next time though, I am taking half of ONE tablet. Stupid tablets.

Internet, you’ve been warned. I do these things so that you don’t have to.

Dorothy @ Singular Insanity March 1, 2013 at 12:48 pm

Sorry, but that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a while.

I hope the hangover goes away soon.

Pixie March 1, 2013 at 12:49 pm

Oh my. You poor thing.

But it was funny.

Hugs

Sarah @fignutmum March 1, 2013 at 12:51 pm

Sorry but you made my day! Hehehe.
I thought it was just me these things happened to.

Ankia March 1, 2013 at 2:09 pm

Lol!!! Glad you didn’t puke in the car though 🙂

10 % Inspired March 1, 2013 at 2:22 pm

LoL, I do that when I have to take the industrial allergy meds when I accidentally eat poison (ie anything in the chilli/pepper family. I once told the person sitting next to me on a bus that my nose was getting bigger…I had blocked sinuses and interpreted the presure as my nose growing)

river March 1, 2013 at 2:43 pm

I laughed so much at this. I remember getting carsick a lot as a kid. Every time we were going anywhere, I wasn’t allowed breakfast. Mum’s theory was that I couldn’t throw up if my tummy was empty. I travelled with a bucket on my lap. Years later I was discovered to be cross eyed and unable to quickly change focus from one moving object to another and this was thought to be causing the motion sickness. Maybe so. I haven’t been sick since getting my glasses.
I still remember the swimmy head and nauseous tummy though. I wish there could be a simple cure for you.

Fiona March 1, 2013 at 2:59 pm

Laughing but feeling sorry for you

suzie March 2, 2013 at 3:00 am

That was pretty funny. It got you through the day though didnt it.

Amy March 2, 2013 at 8:14 am

🙂 Thanks for the laugh today. I needed that!

Karen Reid March 2, 2013 at 6:53 pm

So funny, glad it happens to someone else too. I had my son via c section & when they went to wheel me into recovery I threw up everywhere because of motion sickness. They had to give me an injection of something before they could take me to my room

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