Dear lady in the blue top eating lunch at Eastlands today.
Hi. I was sitting just behind you with my partner and our baby. I don’t even think you noticed me, you were interested in eating your lunch and talking with your friend. I’m thankful for that, truly I am.
I was eating my lunch and sharing bits with my wiggly son. Eventually he cracked the shits with his stroller and started throwing food around. So I did what anyone would do in my situation, I gave up on solid food and breastfed him instead. He must have been thirsty, as he wiggled and snuffled and drank like a parched baby.
This is where you came in.
You see, when my son decided he was finished with his feed, he grabbed my breast and ripped it out of his mouth, giving it a squeeze for good measure. I had no control over this mind you, I didn’t make him do it.
In the middle of him giving my breast a good squeeze, I may possibly have shot a single line of milk in an arc. I watched, horrified, as it landed on your back. I could almost see the line where it hit.
So, dear lady in the blue shirt, I’m really really sorry. I didn’t mean to squirt you with breastmilk and I would have apologised if I thought you’d realised. As it was, some things are probably better left unknown.
But if you so happen to be one of my blog readers (unlikely, but it could happen) please accept my sincere apologies. You didn’t need a milk bath. I didn’t need to watch it arc across the food court, hoping like fuck no one else saw. It seems I was safe and the only one who noticed.
I still feel bad though.
Regards,
The lady in the grey shirt, sitting behind you with the wiggly baby.
***
In other news, the 2009 Weblog award nominations are open. Go over and nominate your favourite blogs in their categories and nominate yourself while you’re there.
And, if you’re so interested, I did an interview over at Murray Newlands’ blog. You can find it here.
Comments
33 responses to “Open letter to the lady in the blue top”
IT WAS ME!!!!!
Just joking!
No no it was me! and I’m sending you the dry cleaning bill 😉
LOL! You MUST have had a good giggle to yourself! I read your interview – nice one Veronica!
Hahaha, that’s so funny.
I’m glad she was engrossed in her lunch and didn’t notice! hahah
Hahaha. These things happen, babies, they’re crazy.
That’s talent! God bless you but breast milk does not stain. :p
Ha! Hilarious.. WTG Isaac, nice aim little man =)
Snort. Too funny.
PMPL! Classic!
Now that is a moment!
This made me laugh out loud. Definitely made my day.
LOL! Breastfeeding is always an adventure
That’s just too funny. So from now on, when you breastfeed in public, maybe you could hand out umbrellas and wellies. Just in case.
I am laughing so hard I may have pissed myself. Too bad I couldn’t arc it and hit my boss.
That’s proper cheered me up!
No! That is hysterical. I just wish I could have been there.
heehee too funny
ROFLMAO! Oh my word I really needed that giggle! hehe 🙂
That’s you AND your mum then…
i love this! so needed a good chuckle this morning – thanks 🙂
LOL …
You poor old sod…! Thank god no-one saw but you.
I remember doing a particularly juicy sneeze that burst out completely unawares (ie no pre-explosive tickling or access to a tissue) and the ‘clear oyster’ flew out and stuck to a man’s trouser leg at the next table….
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!
whoops lol
accidents happen.. 🙂
Hilarious!
OMG!! That is sooo funny, I am relieved that nobody else saw-just for your sanity. Can you even believe the timing of such things?? lol
ROFL… been there, done that….. but still ROFL
hahahaha!!! What are the odds of actually hitting somebody? You should win a prize.
LOL! Oh, Veronica! This post had me laughing until I almost cried! I love your posts! You make me laugh at the most unexpected times. xo
Oh my gosh, I laughed out loud too when I read this!! Kudos to you for being brave enough to nurse in public. I was always too chicken or whatever to do it, so my son and I were virtual hermits for many months:)
ROFLOL. Wish I could have been there to see that!!! My laughter would have given you away big time. 🙂
Oh! bad day you had… well, at least she didn’t come after you and didn’t give you food fight.
Oh, this made me laugh – first when I read it initially in my feed reader and again when I squirted myself in the eye with breast milk trying to whip one out to feed Lucy. It’s amazing what boobies can do!