Sleepless Nights

Blog

  • Can’t Hack It

    pill2.jpg I had to stop my pill today a few days early. The fact that I spent most of the day crying over EVERYTHING was kinda that straw that broke the camels back.

    I couldn’t do it anymore.

    I KNEW the pill made my illness worse.

    I KNEW the pill made me horribly depressed.

    I KNEW the pill was the spawn of Satan and should be treated accordingly (ie: NOT swallowed).

    Hopefully it will get it’s insidious little fingers out of my system fast so that I can start to heal. Because I really need to be well again, at least for a while.

    Keep your fingers crossed that I don’t go back to bleeding incessantly.

    ————

    After one of those fights with Nathan today  (you know those fights. They go “When do I get time off?! I can’t keep doing this without a break! I am tired and sick and lonely!) I have come to the conclusion that in order to be a good mother, I actually need some time away from Amy occasionally.

    This is hard for me to write, because I always equated ‘good parenting’ with being there all the time, on hand all the time.

    (Yes, shoot me now. I am stupid)

    So I am tired and worn out. I yell too much and I am stressed alot of the time.

    I need a break.

    I am sick of yelling at Amy, Seven, Nathan, the toaster, the TV and anything else that may annoy me. I am sick of feeling so stressed.

    We are in the process of discussing sending Amy to a home based carer for one morning a week. At least then, I would get some time off. Nothing is decided yet, but we have an info pack arriving in the mail so we can do some research.

    The social factor will also be good for Amy. She doesn’t get to play with other children on a regular basis since getting to my mothers group became hard to manage.

    Like I said, I need a break.

  • Weekly Winners!

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    As always, thanks to Lotus for hosting this!

    Hopefully this wil be the last week I have to try and see everyone amazing photos using dialup. HOPEFULLY by this time next week I will have super fast internet that will mean I don’t spend all my time waiting for things to load.

    Now, for the photos.

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    My messy kitchen. Okay, it wasn’t that messy, just a touch disorganised still.

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    We could see the smoke from a bushfire the other day. Luckily the firies were able to put it out nice and fast. This photo is from after the smoke had mostly cleared.

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    You know I love my sky, right?

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    This is my other cat, Tilly. She lives with Mum and is THE best cat ever. So placid and she adores Amy. Her only fault? She has a tendency to make me laugh so hard because she sits with her tongue out. I had to mark my URL because I am sure funny cat pictures get stolen regularly.

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    I didn’t know until I was wandering around the other day, but look! I can see an old church.

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    Tiff, thankyou so much. The booties live underneath my pillow.

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    See more Weekly Winners here.

  • Young Love Ahhhhhh

    Amy has been exhibiting signs of being in love lately. Sleeplessness, moodiness, tantrums when I ask her what exactly she is doing and finally, secrecy regarding the telephone.

    Amy Ringing Braden 1

    Finally I busted her and asked who she was calling.

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    Anyone would think she was a teenager in an 18mth old body the way she has been carrying on.

    Apparently, the object of her affections is a young man living in America. Lotus, has Braden been getting midnight phone calls? I mean, you may want to check your telephone bill, you know, just in case.

    You would think that she would just move on, but apparently she can’t. You see I left Lotus’s site up on Mum’s computer the other day while I went to the toilet. When I came back, Amy was happily looking at Braden’s bum. She even pointed and told us it was a ‘BUM!’.

    See? Mum even managed to snap a photo as Amy whizzed around to try and distract us from what she was looking at. (Yes, she was moving very fast when we caught her. That is why she sort of looks like a stunned mullet.)

    Amy Braden Bum

    Just a note? The post and photo of Lotus’s? Was a good half way down the page. Amy was doing some serious surfing obviously.

    You go girl. Just remember, Mummy will ALWAYS be looking over your shoulder, mmmkay?

  • Jumping on the Bandwagon

    lotus-hofosho-banner-bw-1-1.jpg I was totally going to jump on the bandwagon of Dawn, VDog and Angie and tell you all to help out the gorgeous Lotus who was in dire need of help getting out of her current house.

    (Bastard Landlord/Property Manager)

    However, the sun has shone on Lotus and her gorgeous boys and she has been released from her lease and has found a brand new (mould free!) house to move into.

    Her problems don’t end there though because moving is damn expensive! (and don’t I know it)

    So head over here to find out what you can do to help Lotus. Please?

    Yeah, that is all I have in the way of a post. A 39C day and a Toddler who wouldn’t sleep and screamed all day (we have molars cutting) and a puppy who was too lazy to walk outside to pee (even though the door was so open) have sapped me of my strength.

    Send me hugs and good thoughts and send Lotus donations. Make me a happy happy girl.

    Now shhhh, am sle-zzzzzzzzzzzz.

  • Sheesh, They Are DOORS People!

    Well here I am with a moment to myself.

    Somehow taking all this time off means I am beating myself up about blogging a whole lot less. I mean, who cares if my stats are down by 20 today, I mean, REALLY?

    And who cares if THAT post got 10 less comments than THIS post?

    To be honest? A fortnight ago I did. Now, I feel a whole lot more relaxed about it. I’m enjoying the blog again.

    (Maybe knowing that I already failed Blog365 has taken all the pressure off?)

    So anyway, here are more photos.

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    This is the mess in the old ramshackle chookshed. Neither Nathan nor I have been game enough to do anything more than look at it and grimace. It smells like something has died in there (I think it is fertiliser) and frankly, until I have some mean-assed gloves and a full-face mask I just don’t want to go there.

    We are not going to talk about how the previous owners were supposed to take all this crap with them. Maybe they thought that we wouldn’t notice the (large and in plain view) shed? Or then again, after noting the state of the house, maybe they just didn’t give a fuck.

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    This is Amy’s favourite thing (right after my boobs of course). The Slide. (cue choir of angels here) She walks up to it and very carefully climbs the steps (that are about 2 inches to big for her to reach comfortably). When she reaches the top (with me hovering and ‘helping’ as much as is necessary) she stands and claps. And stomps. WITHOUT holding onto anything. Then she sits down and leans as far forward as she possibly can; in the hope that she wall magically become unstuck from the seat and slide down the slide.

    It never works.

    Sometimes she will stand back up and jump at me.

    Mostly she just sits there leaning forwards until I rescue her poor little stuck bum and let her slide.

    See how we are missing all the proper swings? Yeah, they took them. Don’t ask me why, the weirdos also took the interior doors.

    I mean, I just assumed that DOORS are kind of included when you buy the house? Am I right? Doors! Sheesh people, did you really need them that badly?

    At least they didn’t take the carpet.