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It’s because we take photos first and then rescue the kids, all the while composing blogs in our head.

Mr Lady from Whiskey in My Sippy Cup has just highlighted what a BAD BAD mother she is* because she takes photos first.

Also, here is a great example of a mother grabbing the camera first and cleaning up second. PS. Don’t go there unless you have a strong stomach.

I would just like the throw my towel in with these guys, because GOD KNOWS I do exactly the same thing. Observe.

Example A

Amy cried alot (a freaking lot okay) when she was a baby. Eventually I just had to laugh at her and take photos.

Example B

Mashed peaches and rice cereal. I should have been cleaning her up, seeing as how she was done eating, but I had my camera handy.

Example C

Look Mum! I am crawling through your cupboards. Oh wait, I’m a little stuck. Help please? (Sorry about the blurriness.)

Example D

Now, just you wait there Mum, while I launch myself off the couch.

Example E

Looky, here I am in the TV cabinet. It’s cosy. And high. Have I mentioned that I can’t even crawl properly here yet?

Example F

Now I’m behind the fire screen. Oh wait! You still have the camera handy? Let me just pull this piece of wood on my feet. (NO! the fire wasn’t going)

Example G

I’m stuck in the drier Mum. Help? No! Now! Don’t take a photo first, I am STUCK!

Example H

Now I’m stuck in the bassinet. You are supposed to be helping me! Not taking photos!

Example I

Here I am on the window sill. I wonder if I should stand up?

Example J

Mmmmmm. Raspberries. Now, if I run really really fast, I might be able to make it over there to the carpet before Mummy cleans me up!

(Side note: What kind of landlord has cream carpet in their rental house?)

See? All those times when I should have been rescuing my daughter, instead I was taking photos of it. There have been alot of times I missed because the camera wasn’t handy, or the batteries were flat. (Falling out of her highchair and hanging by one foot springs to mind and no, she wasn’t hurt), but ah well. I am sure I have years of photos to take as I hold my breath that she stays still.

Sorry about the poor quality of some of these photos.

*Yeah if you think I was being serious here, then your funny bone needs fixing.

You know how my daughter wakes up every 2 hrs? Yeah, you all get that?

Well, after yesterday and all the tears and the stress, she slept through the night.

Yes, you did read it right. Amy. Slept through the night. From 9pm – 7.30am without waking up. There were a few whimpers at 5am, but she settled fast (read: 30secs) and went back to sleep.

FAN FUCKING TASTIC!!!

So here is to hoping that is becomes a regular occurence. I did wake up with porn star style boobs, (rock hard and massive) but Amy had a feed this morning and has helped out there.

Anyway, onto the order of the day.

Only one photo this week, mostly because I didn’t remember to take the camera up to Launceston with me. Pity really, because there were some great photos I could have taken.

She is such a cheeky girl, I took this photo this morning as she chased me around the kitchen giggling.

If you are bored with my sleep issues, then feel free to skip this post.

8pm – Finish up dinner and read a book. I am mentally preparing myself for bedtime.

8.10 – I took Amy upstairs, laid her down with a bottle of water, her dog and a dummy. I left the room. Cue crying.

8.10 and 30 secs. – She just climbed out of bed. She is at the top of the stairs crying for me.

8.15 – I went back upstairs and cuddled her, read another story, laid her back down and left. Instant tears as soon as she couldn’t see me.

8.15 – Climbed out of bed again. Threw everything down the stairs. Alternately crying and playing.

8.20 – Back upstairs to cuddle and re-settle her. These tears are hard, but my nipples are still sore. I have to be very strong. *takes deep breaths*

8.21 – She is back out of bed. Can you see a pattern emerging?

8.30 – Upstairs to resettle.

8.32 – Yep, back downstairs. She cried as soon as I left and isnow alternately tantrumming and playing. Throwing stuff down the stairs as well. Good thing she can’t climb the gate, that would be nasty.

8.40 – She is crying at the stairs still. I need to go put her back to bed, but I know she won’t stay there long. *sigh* I will wait a bit longer until the crying changes.

8.42 – 2 minutes is an awfully long time. Did you know that?

8.44 – I’m gonna head back upstairs and re settle. I can’t listen to her cry and not want to fix it.

8.50 – One pooey nappy later, she is back downstairs. I think we will watch some TV.

9.05 – Back upstairs with a clean nappy. We had big snuggles on the couch and read another book. In bed we had big snuggles and Amy had a huge drink of water. I put her in bed and left the room. She cried for a minute but is quiet now. I wonder if she is still in bed?

9.18 – Suspicious silence. I didn’t hear the thump that normally accompanies a climb out of bed. I am too scared to go check on her. Sometimes she will play up there in my room for ages before I hear anything. I will swear black and blue she is asleep and then she proves me wrong. I don’t dare hope yet.

9.20 – Still silent. I am trying to convince myself that checking on her is a bad thing. I really want to see those eyes closed for myself though.

9.25 – Silence. Is this sleep? I am going to check, wish me luck!

9.28 – Fast asleep!!! Probably has been for 15mins at least. I tempted fate and took a photo. Sorry about the terrible angle etc, but I wasn’t tempting fate by taking more than one.

No, I didn’t risk turning on the light. That is my flash. Also, see the bottle? That is the first time she has taken a bottle in her life. It’s full of water because it is so hot upstairs, I didn’t want her asleep up there with no boobs and no drink. That brown thing that she is laying on? That is her favourite toy ‘Doggy’. She sleeps terribly if he isn’t about, though in a pinch ‘Ducky’ will do.

She has also rolled about and dragged the sheet off the bed, but hey! I’m not gonna fix it now. The morning is soon enough.

Also? My boobs are very full and they hurt. Ouch.

I just put Amy down for a nap. Without giving her boobs.

I am a horrid horrid mother according to Amy.

She kept looking at me and crying and asking for ‘boooooobs’. Her eyes got so big and sad when I refused to let her pull up my top and have a feed.

My reasons for this? She has become lazy and is refusing to latch on properly. 2 broken and bleeding nipples later (she ground her teeth on one), I think I need a break, if only for a few hours. When it hurts I will remove her and re-attach her, but she pulls away and twists her head and rarely stays attached properly for long.

So today, she is going down for a nap, without having a breastfeed.

It has been 2 1/2 hours of crying and wailing and gnashing of teeth (me, not her) and 2 1/2 hours of crying and tantrumming (her, not me).

She has a bottle of milk in case she is thirsty (it’s a hot day), she has her doggy (who is now milk and tear sodden) and she has a dummy for just in case. She also has a severe lack of sleep happening at the moment.

It is hard. It is very very hard, but at the same time, my nipples are singing my praises as they get a chance (even if only a few hours) to heal a little.

I have been up and down my stairs like a yoyo, putting her back into bed every time she climbs out, along with kisses and cuddles and I love you’s, but no boobs.

I am the worst mother in the world apparently. *sigh*

2hrs 45mins and counting. Still no sleep in sight.

Updated: At 3hrs and 10mins after I put her to bed, she fell asleep. Still minus the boobs. Woo Hoo! Still, I feel awful.

I am writing this at 11pm the day before you are reading this. When this publishes, I will be a couple of hours from home, on the other side of my state visiting my friend and her little boy, who turns 1 on Saturday.

I will try to bring home photos of Amy and her friend playing together but I’m not making any promises. Also, I am much much to tired to even comtemplate a proper post for my absence.

We shall speak more tomorrow my internets.

Mwah!