Dear Collective Power of the Internets,
Potty training. What’s the deal with that?
Now I wasn’t going to talk about potty training here, but I am so freaking sick of it.
Amy will not poo in the potty or on the toilet. She’s dry all day with accidents being very rare. BUT, if she needs to poo, she will ask (scream, wail, cry) for a nappy so she can poo.
I have no idea how to proceed. She understands everything we say, but flat down refuses to poo in anything other than a nappy.
Things that haven’t worked so far:
Bribes
Stickers
Reward charts
Chocolate
Growling
Pleading
Crying
Ignoring
Ice-cream
More Bribes
Things that have worked:
Uh. Nothing. She has never pooed in a potty. Ever.
So. You guys have a ton of collective knowledge between you. What worked for you?
Note: If we refuse to put a nappy on her, she will just wail, scream and cry and then not poo at all. At least, not until we put her in a nappy for bedtime. I’m not prepared to have her just in knickers overnight because she wets the bed between 2-4am and seriously, we’re not getting enough sleep as it is without adding in wetting the bed stress. She is not constipated, she is just stubborn.
Sigh.
Pooping in the potty is scary for toddlers. This is very typical. Take a step back, and give her some ownership in it. Put her in the diaper and then, after she poops, have HER take the diaper off (in the bathroom) and dump the poop in the toilet (or potty, whichever you’re more comfortable with) and have her clean herself up…oh, and don’t forget to let her flush.
This will help eliviate the fear. Peeing in the potty isn’t as scary, but pooping is. Take a break, relax it a bit, and help her to be more comfortable. That’s your best bet.
Jennifers last blog post..Close Up Friday #17
With Jennifer on this, except IMO you might want to let her sit on the potty with the diaper on. Later when she is a big brave girl, she will be ready to do that with the diaper off. I think you get a chocolate after your hands are washed for that trick. :]
Mrs. Cs last blog post..Worlds of Fun!
Fortunately, this was one problem I didn’t have. But, my friend had this problem with her daughter. She gave her the nappy to use, she didn’t want to make it a power struggle, nor did she want her daughter to get sick. Finally, after a few months, the child “came around” and no longer needs a nappy to poop. Good luck!!!!
Joyce-Annes last blog post..It is crack.
The first three comments give you the advice I would offer. My elder son was just the same. It’s a fear thing, she will get over it eventually. Buy really cheap nappies for poo duty and save the decent ones for night duties.
I’m watching the comments with interest, I have the same problem with Connor.
Jeanettes last blog post..India is 10 days old | Johannesburg Newborn photographer
I never had this trouble with mine. So I have no ideas for you. I do remember “oh, mummy needs to poo, let’s go to the toilet now”, and whichever child was with me would sit beside the door seeing and hearing and they just copied….
All of mine preferred the toilet over the potty.
you gotz you some awesome girls here. Yup yup yup.
That is what I did. As soon as I stopped making a big deal about it the girls were OK.
Kia Ora from New Zealand…Hey girl…I’ve had four kids…the last a set of twins and one of them, Simon would NOT poop on the potty for love nor money. He was completely pee trained but not pooping on the potty. Nothing worked.
What worked for me was just leaving him alone, seriously. When he asked for a diaper to go poop in I gave him one. NO comments or fuss I just put it on him he wandered off did his thing and I put him in the tub and washed him up. I figured he wouldn’t be poo-ing in his diaper in primary school and I didn’t want to upset him.
FINALLY when he turned four he said “Mummy I’ll try to go poo in the toilet today…” and he did and that was the end of that.
My ex mother in law (who was a PAIN IN THE ASS) used to say to me “If that were my child I’d put him on the toilet and slap him till he went poo” to which I’d reply “Oh so you’d beat the s**t out of him literally….” she was a really interesting lady that one…
If you can relax about it and let it be that might be the a good thing to do for a bit, this is so normal btw. I really like the comment about having Amy take ‘ownership’ of the issue (or ‘her issue’ rather..pardon the pun) and emptying the poo in the toilet and flushing. You might want to take a week ‘off’ and take all the focus off poop entirely, just give her the diaper, change the poop no comment ect and then try that suggestion.
Good on you girl, you’ll be right…:) This will pass…
Cheers
mim
Have you tried getting her a seat that she can put on the toilet? Both my girls preferred that to the potty.
…though there was the one time my youngest couldn’t find the seat so she sat on the toilet without it – and, being on the small side, got stuck in the toilet bowl 😉 Somewhat to my surprise that did not give her a toilet phobia!
no time to read comments now, will come back in the morning, just wanted to say that I too have POTTY TRAINING = FAIL in my house. Amy has only just started pooping regularily again (in nappies) mind you after two months of witholding her poop. TRAUMA. Talk more tomorrow, must sleep whilst baby sleeps!
Sarahs last blog post..
I’d just let it go for now. One of my friend’s sons was like that, and he eventually got over it and went on the toilet. Amy will too. At least she isn’t having accidents!
badness joness last blog post..Birthday
I’m with the other girls here — truly it’s not uncommon for kids to be scared of poo. I can remember saying to my husband once, I never thought I would be cheerleading poo!
Altho it’s annoying and inconvenient, I would stay with the nappies for now, and talk about how ‘one day, when Amy is a really big girl, she wont need nappies anymore’
Keep it light and confident, so she knows she isnt failing at this.
Tonis last blog post..I’m a Lego!
All good advice here. I never had any problems with my boys – I guess I was lucky. Except with #2 Son. I’d here him coming out of the bathroom and he’d say to his older brother, “C’m’ere, (That’s ‘come here’ in MidWesterm US dialect) you gotta see this.” And then I’d hear his brother, “Oh, gross!!! Can’t you spray before I come in here?” And #2 would say, “What? It don’t smell in here. Just look!” and #1 would say, *cough* *cough* “I can’t go in there” *cough* *gag* and #2 would say, “Wuss!” and then they’d start fighting and I’d have to go break it up before they destryed the furniture.
lceels last blog post..Doh!
never had that problem thankfully, but I think your girls have already given you all the advice you need. Back it off, relax, go with the diaper and she’ll be ready when she’s ready.
They all toilet train differently and ain’t nuffin you can about it. My eldest was 4 1/2 an had us tearing our hair out before she was reliably dry through the day, my middle was training herself at 2 and the middle one then trained the younger one (cos he followed her everywhere!)
It’s one of those things that just is what it is and the more you stress the longer it will take.
Mistress Bs last blog post..Farewell friend
we haven’t started potty training in earnest yet here, but i’m just counting on the fact that no one goes to college wearing diapers. it has to happen eventually. good luck!
Jennis last blog post..Snip
Don’t listen to them Amy, I still have trouble…
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow
Nothing works. Nothing. Do not engage in this battle. Eventually your little one will decide for herself to poo on the potty or in the toilet. Until then, you just get by. Talk up how much you’d LOVE it when she’s SO BIG and poos in the potty. Buy some gigantic “incentive” that you can put on top of the fridge, ONLY to be had when there is poo in the potty.
I forget how old she is! There are more things that can work as the child is a bit older.
Sometimes, the kid is just so used to going while standing up, that sitting down while going is a weird and strange sensation. If she insists on a nappy to do it, put it on her and then have her sit on the potty.
She may just not be ready, sweetie. The answer might just be time. Leave her alone and let her crap in her pants until she actually gives a shit (pun intended). When it’s on her own determination, she’ll get the job done… just like any stubborn woman. I should know.
Kats last blog post..Kat’s New Glasses
By the way, I tagged you, in case you feel that instead of sleep you really need to do a meme. hehe.
Kats last blog post..Kat’s New Glasses
I’m….taking….notes.
Wynnie never had an issue with peeing/pooping in the toilet. Mack? Will poop in the yard, the tub and the floor. Toilet? Um, no. I’m hoping this summer that will change.
Your commenters have left great advice.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..How much is a cat’s life worth?
I’m not a lot of help, my cousin’s little girl is the same and will only poo in a nappy and my little neice is also the same!!! Going for a wee is fine, and sometimes exciting but poo is only for the nappy…strange that.
Personally I would just keep trying things, do some research and not really fret about it unless she gets to school age and it still happens.
Tanyas last blog post..ponderings
I agree, just give her the diaper and let her poop in it till she is ready to go on the toilet. I went thru it with my son and he ended up constipated. It was my fault, not his. Not one of my better parenting decisions. She’ll eventually get the idea and go on her own. Just keep in mind that very few kids go to college still wearing diapers! And keep breathing, it all works out.
You have brilliant commenters. I think they’ve got you covered.
Rees last blog post..MM – Liberty
Relax.
It will happen when Amy’s ready.
Do what they advised and make it a game with dumping the dump in the potty out of the nappy.
Then bribe her with a gazillion things for her good work 😉
Jaynes last blog post..Brother Pele’s in the back, sweet Zina’s in the front Cruisin’ down the freeway in the hot, hot sun May 19
no ideas.. sorry hun..
sure i will find out soon enough..
What about letting her be in the bathroom while you or Nathan are doing a poo? Maybe if she can see that Mummy does it it’s ok?
How about a nappy covered potty? Or you can attach a potty to a nappy… Hmm, odd thoughts I know. Sorry. Having a weird day
talinas last blog post..Beautiful earth mama or Giant spawn incubating freak…
Um, yeah. I’m RIGHT there with you! B is completely urine potty trained and wears cute little underpants with elmo! and dinosaurs! on them. Which he shits! in. yay! I have been thinking about blogging it myself, but I’ve hesitated so far. Heh.
Also, seriously? Uh. Let’s talk about this in private so we can whine and snark about it.
Because. Yeah.
Sarcastic Moms last blog post..Next time, I’ll aim for the pickles and tuna.
I was going to suggest growling, but you had that on your list already.
CKs last blog post..by way of microphone
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