Babies, Toddlers, Children, lend me your ears!
I am here to tell you, that despite my foray into perfect child mode (as suggested by Braden) I am still the revolutionary that you know and love.
I am Amy The Sleepless!
Mummy had gotten a bit smug about how easily I was falling asleep lately. In reality I was just mustering my energy for my new! and improved! attack on Mummy’s sanity.
Instead of falling asleep at naptime and bedtime, I am setting a timer (in my brain) for 10 mins. When Mummy puts me down, I sleep just long enough so that I am not exhausted. Then? I scream until Mummy comes to lay down with me. Last night I clocked up an impressive 3 1/2 hours of screaming with two 10 minute naps thrown in.
I know Mummy has been having some issues with her CFS lately, so in my mind this is the perfect time to break her spirit. Then she will allow me to live on chocolate and potato chips!
In order to break her as quickly as possible I have a few tricks. You can try these too!
1- Scream like your heart is breaking when Mummy puts you into your bed.
(OPTIONAL STEP: Sleep for 10 minutes until Mummy is sure you are down for the night.)
2- Climb out of your bed and stand sobbing at the top of the stairs, until Mummy climbs back up to put you back to bed. (You can substitute whatever is stopping you from getting to your Mummy/Daddy. Some parents even install gates! The cheek!)
3- Snuggle right into Mummy’s neck when she picks you up, still sniffling and sobbing quietly. For an added bonus of guilt, wrap your arms around her neck as well.
4- Make her prise you off so that she can lay you down. Scream.
5- (OPTIONAL) Save up all your pooey nappies, so that you can poo as soon as you go to bed. This way your Mummy will HAVE to get you out of bed to change your bum.
Repeat, over and over again. Do this for hours and hours until your Mummy cries.
Last night I was so successful at this that I had Daddy coming into cuddle me as soon as Mummy left me. They were tag teaming! Aren’t they clever parents?
At one point I had both Mummy and Daddy in bed with me. This was when I dug my feet into their sides and wiggled until they had no room left. It worked a treat, until they decided to leave me to my own devices and left me. I had to repeat my 4 steps over and over again, until Mummy came back and cuddled me some more. Good times babies, good times.
After all the screaming I did, I was a bit exhausted and I slept from 11.30pm – 7am. This was just so that Mummy would think that it was a phase.
HA! Mummy is silly.
For naptime today I repeated steps 1-4 (with #5 thrown in twice) many many times until Mummy was ready to crack.
A few more days of this and Mummy’s spirit will be completely broken.
Viva la Revolution!
The revolution NEEDS to end. Word has gotten out, and now her followers are making us all miserable. Enough, Amy!
Burgh Baby’s Mom’s last blog post..Go Ahead. Hate Me.
🙁
Marley is clearly a follower of Amy 🙁
Hope it IS just a phase!!!!
Bee’s last blog post..I see you more than I did before
Amy…listen here sweetie. You must give your mommy a break. She holds the key to FOOD 😉 …just saying.
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Weekly Winners
hmmm only problem with this theory that I can see is that exhausted mummies don’t tend to leave the house to buy chocolate and chips cos they are too tired to be groomed for the outside world…………….
hugs to the mummy.
Bettina’s last blog post..Menu Plan Monday (on monday!)
BOTH of my children went through this and I discovered that it was because they were HUNGRY! Just happened one day out of the blue (growth-spurts??) when they were each about Amy’s age. I started stuffing them with oatmeal or whole milk yogurt before nap/bedtime and it worked like a charm. Might not help Amy, but worth a try???
Good luck!!! 🙂
Marlee’s last blog post..Just Because I’m Getting Really Good at These…
G’ Day! Greetings from The Land Down Under! I stopped by your blog today to say “thanks” for participating in my Bloggy Giveaway! I will post the winner tomorrow.
Deborah’s last blog post..Not Just on the 14th!
Amy, you need to know that teams of parents the world over are working on a type of Valium that comes in an aerosol container. This will help calm down pesky toddlers even when they are on the fly.
Plus, mommies will so get even when you start to date. All those adorable pictures of you? The poopy diapers? She has evidence.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Part Two of One Hundred Things
Sorry Amy, I’m on mummy’s side here. GO. TO. SLEEP. Mummy needs to start her sorting and packing to move to your lovely new house with the gi-normous yard.
You poor thing remember that when you grow up and have yoru own little Amy ,, your Mum will say PAY BCK IS A #ITCH…. SO be carefull what you do to yoru poor Mum. OH and tell your Mum that THIS TOO WILL PASS.
Just a mom’s last blog post..DO THESE WORK!!?????
hmm..
and i thought Amy was getting better..
i hope she sleeps better for you tonight..
I see nothing wrong with Amy’s behaviour I’m prone to do this all the time. Has Amy ever served in the army? it may be flashbacks to Nam or Normandy I get them every night, remember the Alamo ? I’ll never forget it, those Texans were tough buggers but we got em.
Old Knudsen’s last blog post..The Chinese Yen For Ratwear
oh dear… Amy be a good girl and sleep properly for your mummy!!
Marylin’s last blog post..Weekly Winners #6
Hey! I came over from Zoe’s blog.
Let me just say that it is a phase, never fear. It sometimes can last for up to 5 or 6 years. Ask me how I know.
Karen’s last blog post..Gather Round, It’s a Giveaway!
yeah.
I’d type more but my spirit is totally broken by the 90 minutes of sleep I got last night.
Dawn’s last blog post..NaNoWriMonday – 2:3
Oh, those days – and nights – bring back horrible nightmares!
Ree’s last blog post..The Great Interview Experiment – Part 1 (Kyran interviews Ree)
Sooo painful. I remember it all to clearly.
BEst wishes
Maddy’s last blog post..The Pampered Chef – Marvelous Margaret
I am not a mommy yet but was looking forward to it… now, not so much! Great writing on this post, loved the point of view, very funny to read. I feel bad for ya now..
My grandma would have told you to give the kid some brandy to soothe, and force sleep.. ;-o
Hold on to that sanity!
Talina’s last blog post..Superbowl sunday- we may get snowed in 🙁
Totally love this one. Ah the joys of parenting!!! Thanks for the finger crossing, same here!
Stacey’s last blog post..Caveman Sex
Lol! Sorry, poor you. If only we were closer, we could lock Amy and Bad in a room together, and sit on the porch with a bottle of wine. Sigh.
badness jones’s last blog post..Badness Goes Granola
Oh no!! That’s why the boys slept in our beds when this happens. I don’t have the time or patience to wait for them to sleep in their own beds.
Jenty’s last blog post..Was supposed to be an easy checkup
Playing with Mommy and Daddy is much more fun than sleeping!
missburrows’s last blog post..There is nothing wrong with the word vibrator
Hey, isn’t there a sale right now on rope and duct tape?
Marie’s last blog post..The Great Pants Conspiracy
The clever Amy!
I certainly hope that Lucy can’t hear her words as I am reading them in my head (You know, with her in my tummy…I’m not sure exactly how it works. Can she hear my thoughts? Good Lord, I hope not.). I wouldn’t want a revolutionary on my hands. I am fearful, however. Since Julia was so easy, I worry that Lucy will make up for it.
Leslie’s last blog post..The Haiku Buckaroo Contest, Take Two!
i see that amy and ava have been conspiring. i shall not let her read blogs in my lap anymore.
zoe’s last blog post..Must Know Monday
Found your site from Shamelessly Sassy’s – just wanted to say hi!
I am so scared to have kids because I am afraid that I’ll die from lack of sleep…
ALF’s last blog post..Seriously, ESPN, Just Have It On In The Background
This sounds like Noah. Although he has added in the complete and utter inability to be potty-trained for nighttime (he’s almost FIVE) and will pee the bed every now and then. All you can really do is take embarrassing pictures of her now and flash them at her boyfriends when she’s older. It’s the only revenge.
Tasina’s last blog post..Say it with cats
I know I know. The little princess was doing so well and now it is awful. She isn’t quite up to Amy’s level but since she is just an understudy I expect she’ll move up to that at some point.
janethesane’s last blog post..The Ideal Woman
Oh NO! =( I am so sorry!
We thought we had cracked James’ sleep code when we started feeding him a super-filling snack right before bed (read: cheese and crackers), but then we found out that, again, he was just lulling us into a false sense of security before blasting us with yet more sleepless nights…and an awesome superbug that made us all throw up a million times.
But still…if you haven’t tried it, the bedtime snack might be worth a shot. It worked wonders for us…for a couple of weeks before The Illness…now who knows?
Good luck getting a good night’s rest! =)
SusanB’s last blog post..Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse…
That’s it, I’m coming over there just to swat your bum.
And I don’t even spank!
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..Paradise Below Us
Amy, tell your mom how clever she is to do a post like that! : )
Also, tell her that I am feeling for her.
But there is sleep in her future. I promise.
I know she may not feel any better when people say that because I never did but it did turn out to be true.
Blessings,
Becky
Becky’s last blog post..Lil’ Jimmy
Just remember Hon, I am now on holidays, if you need a break during the day just give me call and I will come a running
What a girl, just when you think you have this sleep time thing sorted they throw a curve ball. My 15 month old is causing all sort of problems – so not fun
Laura McIntyre’s last blog post..Its Really True?
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