Social Anxiety

by Veronica on July 16, 2011

in Blogging

I was going to write about blogopolis and then just link you to the post that I wrote before Aus Blog Con, wherein I described all my issues with social situations and then let you read it. And then I thought, HEY! You guys are special, you probably deserve a whole new post of me talking about issues.

So. Blogopolis.

It’s in a fortnight now and while I am very excited, I am also refusing to think about it too hard, in case I freak out and have to hide under my bed covers for a little while.

I have social anxiety. I never know what to say to people. I freak out and panic before walking into a room filled with people and I either end up talking too much, or not enough. That’s the short version.

Because of this and because I have had the pleasure of meeting a bunch of my blogging friends at previous events, I have to consciously remind myself to talk to new people and to seek out people I want to meet, rather than just hiding in the corner with the women I am comfortable with.

Being pushed out of my comfort zone can only be a good thing and I am working on attending as many things as I possibly can. If nothing else, I am getting fantastic at hiding a panic attack under a frozen smile.

Blogopolis is freaking me out in a number of ways:

1) I am worried I won’t get to meet the people I am desperate to meet.

2) I am freaking out that people won’t like me because

a) I seem standoffish (no, I’m just trying not to lose my shit) or

b) I am hiding in the corner, with my nose in my phone, freaking out on twitter.

3) I have nothing to wear because my jeans don’t fit me anymore and

4) I am going to get lost. This is the least likely thing to happen, but I’ll panic about it anyway, because that’s what I do.

Logically, I know that most of these things won’t come to pass. I’m sure I’ll be fine and if I’m not fine, I am going to pretend like hell I am.

So please, if you see me in a corner freaking out, come and rescue me. I would love to talk to you.

And in the event that I’m not freaking out and you want to talk to me, then come say hi. I am not scary and I really want to meet you too.

The strangest thing about my social anxiety is that despite it, I quite like people.

Also, as an ending to this rambling, quite crappy post – I collect business cards, so if you’ve got a blogging business card, I WANT it. I’m planning on slowly pinning them all to a wall near my desk, and I need more in order to start. So if you can help with that, I want your card.

DanniiBeauty July 16, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Great post – I think you just described me! I am the same, I worry way too much what others think. I usually use my phone as a distraction.
I hope you have a great time!

WackyLisa July 16, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Good for you for going to events.
My social anxiety used to be manageable and then I went without a computer for two years and became mostly homebound and now it is 10,000xs worse. So, at least based on my experiences, you’re being really good to yourself even tho it is incredibly hard.
I know the fears are hard to cope with. I wish I could help. I hope you have a great time.

Melanie Graham July 16, 2011 at 2:17 pm

You are describing me too. In the past people have thought I am standoffish, but I am not really. My brain is just going at a million miles an hour and I am probably looking for the nearest exit in case I feel like vomiting, while trying to keep my face looking calm and relaxed (and usually failing miserably) lol. But I don’t let it stop me and would love to go to Blogopolis. I hope that you have a great time. Try to relax and enjoy yourself. xxx

Mrs Woog July 16, 2011 at 2:20 pm

I wish I was going! If I was, then I would totally come and hug you and give you all the cards you wanted x

Dorothy July 16, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I think I’m just going to be a ping pong ball going from one person I know to another and hoping to meet someone new in the process. I’m totally avoiding thinking about the social issue. Just concentrating on the two blissful nights alone in a hotel room, the drinks with friends and perhaps saying hi to some of the bloggers I’ve already met. Including YOU! I promise to find your corner…

Seraphim July 16, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Veronica I wish I was going to Blogopolis. One of the many reasons on my list is I could have met up with you. You and your mum were extraordinarily kind to me at the last conference and I won’t ever forget it. I hope this one ends up being a wonderful experience for you. x

bigwords July 16, 2011 at 3:02 pm

If I was going I too would come and give you a big hug and then probably talk way too much because I do that when I am nervous. When I met you at the Aus Blog Con I thought you were wonderful because you are. Just remember everyone is as nervous and worried as you, some just don’t seem that way. Have fun, wish I was going to meet you again x

Super Sarah July 16, 2011 at 4:33 pm

A friend is still trying to talk me into coming, but I just don’t know. Its all so complicated, accomodation, transport, parties. Sigh.

Jody July 16, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Well, don’t stress about trying to meet me, coz I won’t be there. But if I were going, I would no doubt be stuck in the corner with you, and I might even share the paper bag I’d be hyperventilating into, because you’re cool. And I’m nice like that:

Jayne July 16, 2011 at 5:01 pm

You’re a better gal than me, Gunga Din 😉
(((hugs)))

Fiona July 16, 2011 at 5:33 pm

I can post you mine 😉

Caz July 16, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Let’s hope they have big corners at the Zinc complex – there might just be rather a lot of us needing corner space. Guess we’ll all be able to keep each other company!!! I’ll bring you my card especially. It will give me a reason to come and talk to you 🙂

Marita July 16, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Damn I was hoping we could hide in a corner together 😉

river July 16, 2011 at 5:57 pm

You did really well at AusBlogCon, so I see no reason for you not to do well at Blogopolis.
I treat my social anxiety by hiding at home to destress from having to talk to customers at work.

edenland July 16, 2011 at 7:10 pm

Snap. I think this kind of anxiety is more prevalent than people realise. I can’t lock any extra-curricular activity in at Melbourne at all, until I know how I am feeling on the day. May end up eating cheetohs on my hotel bed, watching the twitter stream of the parties. Or, at the party being loud and obnoxious, pretending I’m totally confident. One of those.

Will be giving you my blog business card.

Marylin July 16, 2011 at 7:19 pm

*whimpers* I wanna meeet youuuuu!
*hugs* xx

Recycled Relix July 16, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Ok so what’s Bogopolis??

Recycled Relix July 16, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Blogopolis?? sorry had a bottle of wine :]

Veronica July 16, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Basically a blogging conference. http://nuffnangblogopolis.com.au/

Dannie July 16, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Well we have you , me and so many others who are shit scared blah ,blah , So i shall come up and say Hiya:-) Then probs back away and hide in my own little corner i either have nothing to say or i friggen just ramble on and then you gotta say “Dannie shut up now” LOL…

Happy Elf Mom July 16, 2011 at 11:08 pm

You leave the house for social occasions! You are way ahead of me and a lot of other folks! Wishing you all the best on your trip… I’m SO EXCITED FOR YOU. People are finally starting to recognize your talents and I couldn’t be more pleased.

Though I’d love to see sponsors for new flooring and that sort of thing for you also! I know how much you want to improve your home for your children. Are you listening, corporate sponsors??? 🙂

Caroline July 17, 2011 at 12:01 am

That so sounds like me.

As for cards, not going to blogopolis but I’ll hopefully met u at the Tassie meet up and I’ll give you one of mine (when I get around to getting them done lol)

Achelois July 17, 2011 at 10:58 am

Well as an interloper from the UK. I obviously won’t be there. sulk. This also sounds like me. My antiipatory anxiety with regard to social events is immense. A beta blocker helps at an actual real life social gathering. But mostly I stay at home.

Really hope you enjoy the Blogopolis. Perhaps remembering the fun and frolics you had at the last one may help with the anxiety. Seeing that so many people have similar feelings who are going, if you have name tags perhaps a little symbol or something on them if one is nervous about the meeting new people aspect could assist. Or is that a really crass idea…… at least lying on my bed blogging I can’t see anyone cringing.

xoxoxoxo

Achelois July 17, 2011 at 11:07 am

oh *&^% I didn’t meant to type ‘antiipatory’ and now every time I go to spell it my fingers won’t do what my brain says they should. And, I hate commenting twice. I don’t even have the excuse of a bottle of wine which would make it better. Off to deal with my social anxiety which even pops up it seems in the blogosphere. Is there a name for that?

Tenille @ Help!Mum July 17, 2011 at 1:15 pm

I wish I could say that I was going and that I’d chat with you, but I’m not going and I’d probably be too shy to come talk to you! I’m hopeless like that. Enjoy Blogopolis, I hope you have an awesome time 🙂

Kellie @ Three Li'l Princesses July 17, 2011 at 4:19 pm

As I said on the previous post, I “get this”! I’m exactly the same.
So wishing I was going to Blogopolis, but super excited to know I’ll meet you this week anyway! Yay! Can’t wait! 🙂

Donna @ NappyDaze July 17, 2011 at 5:16 pm

If only I were lucky enough to be going I’d be sure to say hi! So many people feel like this (I was exactly the same at AusBlogCon and would be again if attending Blogopolis) so there will hopefully be safety in numbers 🙂

Hope you have the most fab time!

Denyse July 17, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Lovely Veronica,
Hey, we have met. At Aus Blog Con, after your mum ‘made you wear pretty stuff’ bride to be.
Score 1 to social meet-up already made.
Score 2 – you spoke at ABC..and did soooo well.
Score 3 – You know who I am, and I’ll keep you away from the corners, unless you need the space (joke, hon!)
And I have NEW business cards AND, this old grandma blogger has sponsorship. News about that later….CAN NOT wait to give you a gentle hug…Promise
Denyse XX

Sharnee July 17, 2011 at 10:27 pm

I will be there and I will make you take my business card. It is kind of crazy and has stripes and a picture of a cartoon deer standing on a cartoon mushroom.

But I think being a bit anxious is normal, not to worry. I am pretty nervous too (even though about 5% of me loves showing off) but it will be ok!

Can’t wait to meet you there!

Alicia=Madcap Mum July 18, 2011 at 7:58 pm

I am going to Blogopolis too (my first blog event) and I feel exactly the same way as you. There are so many bloggers i’d love to meet but I’m sure I will be too shy to say anything to them.

melinda July 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm

I agree with edenland, social anxiety is pretty common. We just called it shy when I was little, but social anxiety better describes it. I like people too, but in small doses, and not in crowds. Have fun and I’m looking forward to reading all about it.

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