Sometimes, connections are spooky

by Veronica on January 6, 2012

in Pregnant. Finally.

In March, 1991, when I was two years old, my father was in a near fatal motorcycle accident. By sheer luck, an expensive helmet, a guardian angel and some pretty amazing medical care, he survived with just scars to show for it.

During his time in ICU, a drain was inserted in his side, just underneath his right armpit. Shortly afterwards, I developed a birth mark of an identical shape and size, in the identical position to Dad’s scars.

We’ve used this mark to show people before, how we’re linked. Connection within family is strong and sometimes, it’s stronger than others. I also have Dad’s identical birth marks on my stomach – my brother has the mirror image marks, which are identical to our grandfather.

When I was pregnant with Amy, every time I complained to my father about how sick I was, he was sick too. It was a rough pregnancy and I was glad to finally give birth and stop throwing up. I had joked during it that Dad had my morning sickness, but we didn’t think much of it.

Pregnant with Isaac, two years later, Dad was sick again.

I am now gestating what will hopefully be our third baby and yes, you guessed it, my father appears to be sick alongside me.

I can’t say that I’m surprised, really.

You can see the mark, just underneath my hand, holding my jumper up.

Side note: I was going to crop out all of the bits that are less than flattering on this photo, but you know, I didn’t. I am six weeks pregnant now, after a miscarriage at six weeks and my uterus appears to be overachieving, size wise.

zelda January 6, 2012 at 11:35 am

twins? It would be just like your body to go “Hey look I can hold onto TWO!!!”

Veronica January 6, 2012 at 11:37 am

I seriously doubt it. I really REALLY doubt it. Really.

Libby January 6, 2012 at 1:36 pm

You look tiny. And beautiful.

Maddy January 6, 2012 at 2:04 pm

How brave, in so many ways. So it’s like you’re dad is a team player in this then. It’s always good to have a buddy, but I’m sorry to hear that he’s ill while you are blooming.

Mum on the Run January 6, 2012 at 2:16 pm

It’s these beautiful undefinable things in life that make it magical.
I’m gunning for that gorgeous uterus of yours.
🙂

Kellie @ Three Li'l Princesses January 6, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Wow! What a lovely and powerful connection, V. Makes you contemplate the “why?”. Is there some reason you’re connected like you are. x

Happy Elf Mom January 6, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I hope your dad feels better after his first trimester. Ha ha!

river January 6, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Have you seen a doctor yet to confirm how far along you are? Your miscarriage may have been one of twins and the surviving one is now further along than you think?

or it could just be a case of subsequent pregnancies always “showing” earlier than the first.
My dad didn’t suffer morning sickness along with my mum, but the minute I was safely born, he then suffered every labour pain that my mum had for the previous six hours.

Veronica January 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm

No, it isn’t one of twins, I had the blood tests and ultrasounds to confirm my uterus was empty after the miscarriage. I know my dates, vs when I got a positive pregnancy test and pretty sure I’m about six weeks.

Hoping to get into the doctor next week, if I can find the time, and then for an ultrasound sometime after. I’m waiting a bit longer this time (as opposed to Amy and Isaac’s pregnancies) because I have a retroverted uterus, which gives me dates about a week behind mine. I don’t particularly feel like arguing about dates this time and dealing with the extra ultrasounds for a “small for dates” baby.

Does that make sense? If everything goes well, I’m aiming to have an ultrasound at about 12 weeks. With no bleeding this time, I think it should be fine to wait that long. I mean, either I’ll get a baby, or I won’t. Either/either.

Annnd I’ve had to edit this comment three times now, as I kept repeating myself. Argh.

Watershedd January 8, 2012 at 8:31 am

Hey V. Just on the point of dates and ultrasound, accuracy varies with gestational age (particularly in the later stages – accuracy goes down – I guess we all grow at different rates). I studied a bit about this years ago and still work sonographers and I’d have to check with them about the specifics, but it may be worth asking a sonogrpaher when the best time to get your scan done is if you’re really interested in accurate dating. Just a point to keep in mind in combination with the retroverted uterus. Also, a TV ultrasound may give your better dates at this early stage, but that’s really for the sonographer/radiologist/sonologist to determine, not me. Now on the other side, if you’re well and an ultrasound shows things growing and developing as they should, does being a week out matter (not uncommon)? Enjoy the wonder of growing this mew person, even with the morning sickness and lethargy and whatever else. It’s something that I marvel at.

BTW, I suffered my Dad’s knee pain years ago after he had his knee replacement. I knew when he was in terrible pain. Never had it before, never since. It was weird, but kind of nice to know I was connected like that to him.

Marita January 7, 2012 at 8:05 am

Fingers crossed your Dad doesn’t get too sick. Amazing the way family is connected.

Jayne January 7, 2012 at 6:45 pm

That is wonderful, Veronica, and your photo is lovely 🙂

Daisy January 7, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Such funny little connections. I feel bad that your dad has to share your morning sickness, but glad that you have some support and understanding! Families are so wonderful and strange, sometimes!

Dad Blog Tork January 11, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Cosmic! cool story.

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