Some days, I feel like I’m suffocating under the needs of these children of mine. There is always someone who needs feeding, dressing, or changing.
Add breastfeeding into that mix and I’m getting a little ‘touched out’.
I love breastfeeding. The way Isaac’s head nestles into my breast, the huge smile when I get my boobs out in order to feed him, the way he snuffles and gulps until he’s satisfied. But in this, the last few weeks before Isaac will be getting a meal consisting of all solids, where milk will become only part of his diet (and don’t get me wrong, I’m not intending to wean, I fed Amy until she was 19 months), this last little bit? It’s hard.
It’s really fucking hard.
I love them and I love this. I love it, truly I do.
But sometimes, you’ve got to be okay with admitting that you don’t always like the dirty bits of motherhood. The 3am vomiting. The toddler poo that has ended up at the small of her back when she really should be crapping on the toilet. The tears and the snot and the anguish of being asked to pick up your toys, leave the cat alone, don’t sit on your brother, Amy look where you are going, are you listening to me? Well are you?
The bits I love, far outweigh the bits I don’t like. That doesn’t however, make the horrible bits any easier to like.
***
Amy is still ‘STILL HUNGRY!!!’ (with capitals and exclaimation marks, because that is how you talk when you are TWO!) but we’ve implemented a plan of chopped vegies and fruit in the fridge in iced water (thankyou DrMim) and all snacks will be grabbed from there. Other things I think are acceptable are cheese and crackers. If she won’t eat them, she’s not truly hungry and can wait for mealtimes.
***
Potty training. Ugh. I don’t even want to talk about that yet. Let’s just say that nothing has worked and move along. Nothing to see here…
***
My good wrist is clicky today. Fuck. My bad wrist? Well we just won’t talk about that either. Or any of my other joints.
***
I applied for a blogging job a few days ago. I haven’t heard anything yet, but to be honest, the extra money would be really handy. Not to mention, it’s blogging on a topic I am really passionate about. (No, it’s not parenting. Blogging jobs for parenting blogs are as rare as hens teeth!) In the interim, well, in the interim, we’ll just putter along doing what we’re doing. We can afford to eat and pay bills and really, that’s all we need.
***
I have come to accept that toddlers don’t listen and babies never do what you want them to do when you want them to do it. I don’t like it, but I accept it.
***
These biscuits. Awesome. The dough is so good I wasn’t sure any was going to make it to the oven. SO GOOD.
Aww the horrible bits are *so* hard aren’t they? They are outweighed by the good bits though. 🙂 It’s just difficult to remember the good bits at the time eh? 😉 Those biccies look tasty!
Marylins last blog post..Weekly Winners
#1 Son was two weeks shy of 2 years old when #2 Son was born. And SWMBO has EDS, as do you – although I think your case is more profound.
But I hear you. I hear echoes of all those things I heard lo, those many years ago.
It’s like Deja Vu all over again.
And if those cookies were half as good as they look (biscuits, sorry), then I am SO jealous.
And hungry.
lceels last blog post..While there’s still time
“touched out.” YES.
all Oscar wants to eat is goldfish cracker and chocolate. most days, i just give in.
Jennis last blog post..Deja Vu #2
Some days it feels like I’m walking through treacle and breathing underwater. I know how you feel.
Barbaras last blog post..147/365 – Falling
I think every mother can relate to feeling “touched out” sometimes. Especially when feeding. Also, 2yo’s are insane.
xxx
Alis last blog post..Sweeping changes
Oh, I am so there. My sister just said to me today (about my 2 year old). “My god, how do you keep up with him?” She just had her first baby. She will learn.
I guess we don’t keep up…. I discipline when needs to be disciplined. But I let him be himself. What else am I going to do?
Corinas last blog post..And the culture results are……
I always say kids are cute so we don’t eat them while they are young.
nikkis last blog post..Like a knife in my heart
Hang in there! I know, easy for me to say. It’s times like this I wish I wasn’t halfway across the world–our girls are close in age (Monkey girl is 2 1/2 years old), I’d take Amy off your hands for a little while.
Joyce-Annes last blog post..Laundry is a four-letter word
I completely understand!! Really hope you get that blogging job!
Jeanettes last blog post..A Trash the Dress Session in the veld – Part 3
Fingers crossed for you for the blogging job!
I can’t imagine having to deal with half of the stuff you do as a parent – possible one of the reasons having children SCARES ME SHITLESS!
Biscuits looks great!
Jellys last blog post..One little thing – From awful to awesome
Those bikkies look yummy 🙂
Fingers crossed for the blogging job 🙂
Jaynes last blog post..MOAR!@
Are you at least getting some sleep yet???
Mrs. Cs last blog post..The Song of the Train
You love them fiercely with an all-consuming passion but just sometimes it’s so hard to like them – especially when they’re touching you or needing something AGAIN FOR FUCK’S SAKE! Verbalising is a great relief ;-)You know you wouldn’t change them for the world really.
Hopefully your current EDS flare-up will abate soon, in the meantime start dyeing the support thingys, a little colour therapy is good for the soul.
Oh, Veronica! I can so relate to this post! Although I don’t have a toddler to add to the picture, my Little One has me feeling as you do in this post. This said, it’s amazing how much love one can feel for our babies. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
Cs last blog post..Oh, No! He Proposed!!!
All I can say is “I hear you!” Suffocating is the right way to describe the feeling. I feel roped to my baby, of course its pure pleasure to have to nurse and cuddle and feed her all the while smelling her divine baby head, but there is Amy and my husband and then of course me that needs my attention too. Sigh.
Sarahs last blog post..
yummy biscuits..
you have a cat now?
the bad things of being a mummy totally suck..
bring on the good bits more often i would say..
It’s always okay to admit that you don’t like the dirty bits of motherhood.Those who don’t admit, the ones who smile gaily no matter what, soldiering on saying motherhood is great, there’s nothing wrong here, my children are textbook angels, they are the ones who have ulcers later on from keeping everything bottled up for so long. Emotions need to be vented, just as you are doing here.
The cookie recipe? Oh YUM. Of course now I have to buy a food processor, and a larger kitchen to put it in….
hmmmmm lots to look forward too lol. There are so many stages of a childs life, it must be exciting and sad at the same time as they move through them.
I would really like those biscuits 🙂
Tanyas last blog post..Bored
I do have to add that the four year gap between child #3 and child #4 was so much easier on me than the two years between #1, #2 and #3. If I had to do it over and knew what I know now, there would be 4 years between all my kids.
Blogging job?
I’m just about on my way to bed, but wanted to be sure to read your post (and I would so be there to help if it made any difference), but totally got side tracked by the cookies! COOKIES! NEED ME SOME COOKIES!
damn diet.
Beas last blog post..holy hell, my comfy home is now a house of horrors for children
Oh I don’t envy you at all! I do remember how it was though, but am thankful that its over. I love my daughter being big too! (I did love the little part!) I think you grow out of it as you get older!
Janet Bs last blog post..Show and Tell Friday – African Sand
we are all human and we all have bad days…hope today was better.
I am sorry you are having a tough time.
Just a question? US tablespoons are different to ours = what’s your take on this recipe ?
I need me some cookies too.It sure reduces stress.
trishs last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – P is for park
Trish, I used our tablespoons and it worked well. I think it has to do with the proportions, rather than the actual amounts.
Oh and I used self raising flour instead of plain+baking powder.
Ah the joys of parenthood… It is all news to me and I know I am going to be going through it all very soon.
Sorry about your wrist and about all the kiddo issues. Hugs to you.
talinas last blog post..Another week draws to an end… Coming up on 37 weeks pregnant!
No worries…ice water keeps them fresh and I don’t know why but kids love fishing out there own snacks from the container 🙂
sorry…their…two hot buttered rum and I can’t spell…HEAD COLD anyone…
parenthood is a tough job but well worth it in many ways. I know I have had my rough days
I so know what you mean about loving parenting and disliking some parts lol I too hate the 3am puking. I also dislike the nonstop crying when nothing appears to be wrong – it sucks feeling powerless in making him feel better.
But I love love love everything else
Sarcasticas last blog post..Grunts
Here here, sister! Sometimes I’m not positive my shoulders are strong enough to withstand everything that these little people NEED ME TO DO! Then I ask myself if I’d rather put them in daycare and go to a paying job every day. No. But that doesn’t make it any less hard.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..There’s no place like home….
I sure hope you’re taking care of yourself here, too!
Catering to the every whimsy of a child IS exhausting. If you are taking some time to make sure YOU are getting what you need, it will be easier to give the wee ones what they need. 🙂
Miss Ashs last blog post..Thugs
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