I’ve been hibernating since Evelyn was born. I know this, and accept it. It’s easier to stay home when you have a baby who requires naps and a certain amount of normality. But somewhere in the middle of hibernating, I stopped going anywhere except for necessary things. Hospital appointments. The supermarket. School.
Which is fine, it really is. I’ve been working a lot, and writing a lot, and that is all much easier when I’m at home.
But I’d underestimated how much sanity can be restored simply by leaving the house.
Evelyn had a neurology appointment yesterday afternoon. It was a Student Free Day, so Amy was home from school, and the original plan had been to have Frogpondsrock watch my children while Nathan and I headed to the appointment.
By 11am I was ready to eat my children. Just up and eat them. NOM. The two big ones woke Evelyn from her nap five minutes after she fell asleep, someone destroyed something and there was more screeching than I thought humanly possible.
I ran away. Convinced Mum to come and get me, and we left Nathan at home with the two big children, while I escaped to Kmart of all places. You know you’ve been hibernating for too long when Kmart feels like a luxury freedom resort. I didn’t even buy anything amazing. School shirts for Isaac to start Kindergarten with, a new belt after the dog chewed mine to pieces, a present for a birthday party we’re invited to, a helmet that actually fits Isaac.
Then Evelyn and I shared a hot chocolate and a toasted sandwich, and I realised that I hadn’t been anywhere for almost 18 months that didn’t involve pressure, or stress, or screeching banshee children.
It was nice, you know. Evelyn is (mostly) lovely to take out in public, and I can’t keep hiding at home. That’s the problem with working from home too, it’s easier to just stay home, because going out means you’re playing catch up on things you should have done at lunchtime, at midnight.
Neurology was happy with Evelyn, by the way. She has a theory that babies with severe sleep myoclonus (the twitching that aren’t seizures) are wired differently. Wired higher. She promised me that Evelyn is going to give me hell as she gets older.
I look forward to it.
Oh God I know this all too well. I sometimes go grocery shopping at night now and my internal monologue goes something like; “Look at me, no-one knows I’m mummy, look no children just like a real person.” then I go into K-mart at mutter “It’s all too cheap, look at this.” This seems so indulgent, especially if I look at impractical things ooooh. Then I scuttle home and hope I didn’t look like I was in the throes of a sectionable episode. Good times!
Anyway. Yes, getting out is a good idea, good for stomping on anxiety and depression too.
Rats. Now I want a hot chocolate and toasted sandwich. It’s a good thing I’m home and my kitchen has the necessary supplies.
Yay Evelyn!
That is great news that the neurologist is happy with her 🙂
I love to get out of the house alone….if only!
Being able to go shopping, in a shop, WITHOUT kids asking me every five seconds, ‘Mum, can I have…?’, is a blissful luxury for me. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen very often. Shopping alone, that is. Usually I have a gaggle of kidlets trailing along behind. Sigh …
Great to hear that the neurologist is happy with your little Miss 🙂
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