Isaac has decided that solids aren’t for him right now. I went to give him some stewed apple, only to have him look at me like ‘What do you think you’re doing WOMAN? I want BOOBS!’
He was content to wave the spoon around and poke himself in the eyes, but actually eating got me the ‘Bleuch, are you trying to KILL ME?!’ look before he gagged and spat everything out. All over my front.
So yeah, that’s that. We’ve stopped for a bit and I’m not stressed. Boobs are easy and simple and don’t require warming up. Although, it is Winter and it’s been a little chilly. Iced milk never hurt anybody.
All this feeding has my boobs loking like socks with oranges in them. Deflated oranges. I put a bra on this morning, only to realise 5 minutes later that part of my breast was tucked out of the band at the bottom. Really, is it normal to not realise things like that immediately?
Sleep has been in short supply too. Isaac is cluster feeding aaaaallllll night and Amy is having nightmares and waking screaming. I feel just a little bit wrecked. I’m also pretty sure that there is baby vomit somewhere in the vicinity of my left shoulder and I can feel a wet patch where he chewed on my side as I was cuddling him. I’m not even game to think about what he’s rubbed through my hair.
Also? I need to stop swearing. Amy swears like a trooper. In context. I’ll let you know how that goes.
Amy: [playing with the laundry baskets. drops basket on her foot] ‘Fucking hell! Fucking basket’
Me: [dies inside. doesn’t smile. ignores it and hopes like hell it just goes away]
Amy: [cat steals part of her sandwich] ‘Fucking CAT!’
Amy: [looking at the dog] ‘Fucking DOG! Mummy! Dog PISSED”
Yes. I might be the worst mother ever. Sigh.
Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
1. I love that someone else who I think is a nice, normal-ish, good mommy cusses as much as I do.
2. Colin was the only kid I knew who said, “Fuck” until now.
The other morning I was attempting to dress him. I waited with his clothes in hand while he screwed around, wasting my time with 10 different things, until finally I said, “Right now, Colin. Come here. Come HERE. Right NOW. No, NOW. Please. COME HERE RIGHT NOW.” He stopped, turned towards me looking as though I were the most annoying person on planet Earth (I’m very certain I looked at my own mother exactly this way from ages 11 to 17), and said, “Fuck! Fine. Fuck!”
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A little breast milk stirred into the stewed apple might have him accepting it more readily. Give him a breastfeed first, once the edge is off his hunger, try a spoonful of the fruit.
The swearing? You’re supposed to stop swearing BEFORE your child learns to speak.
Forget the bra altogether. Just tuck your boobs into your waistband to keep them out of your way until Isaac needs them.
Ah, the swearing is very much shades of our house. I am really bad but I am trying to b better at the moment. It’s become really unfunny.
I can relate on the cluster feeding/screaming older child thing too. My nearly 12mo took until a couple of weeks ago to really start eating solids properly. She is liking solids now but she is also liking an all night boobfest. The nearly 4yo is coming into our bed every night after a big scream about something since we moved. Tis not funny.
Alis last blog post..Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!
Nothing to add to river’s comment really, I think she covered most things quite succinctly except that maybe apple is a little too acidic for Isaac at the moment. Perhaps you could try try avocado, banana or pear? My little ones used to like a bit of mashed potato too.
I’m sorry that you’re having a rough patch, and I’m really sorry to let you know that you’re NOT the worst mom ever. I’m the worst mom ever – I agreed to take the kids to the pub for dinner after Hubs rugby alumni game on Saturday, and they were clapping along with all of the songs. I don’t think they understood any of the lyrics….(hope! Pray! fingers crossed!) because “suck a horse’s penis” was one of the tamer phrases. When my 2 year old said “masturbating” I decided it was high time to leave. How could I have forgotten what those guys are like? Oh yeah….I haven’t slept through the night in 3 years….it affects the brain.
Hugs. Things will get better.
badness joness last blog post..I’m in love with my boy….
Maddi is swearing to.. but not quite in the context that Amy is.. just yet..
Cai loves fruit but isnt so keen on the vegie side of life.. 🙂
how you doing?
V: I laughed about the swearing…I didn’t swear at all when my kids were little, I was still a fundamentalist Christian at that stage (I got over that thank GOD…literally :))with the result that all of my children swear themselves blue in the face every chance they get now. At 23, 21 and identical twins of 14 I can attest to the their expletive prowess…as well as my own.
They also swore when they were little and as I said they never heard those words at home. I used to just ignore them when they did it as well…make a big deal and trust me they will ramp up the incidence level 🙂 (as you already know).
Don’t sweat it…you aren’t a bad mother…you’re just human. There is nothing more teeth grittingly annoying than the ‘perfect’ mummy syndrome. Better a swear word or three than an RX for Valium and a drinking problem!! 🙂
Cheers
miles is also eschewing soids to the point of vomiting all over me if i give him any, and he’s only a week shy of six months. yes, the boobs are easy, but my nipples are sore from the constant feeding, and my boobs are just sore in general. I think they’ve shrunk and my nursing bras are no longer providing the proper support. can that happen?
sorry for talking about my boobs so much in your comments.
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snirk. I’ll laugh at Amy over here, okay? That way, she won’t know how fucking funny that is. 😉
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It could be worse. I overheard my daughter-in-law’s little 3 and a half year old niece, saying to her little brother laying in his crib, in a voice that sounded an awful lot like Mae West, “Waddya say, Big Boy?” There’s a kid that’s headed for trouble.
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Can you videotape her cussing? Because I need a good laugh!
nikkis last blog post..Her cuteness knows no boundries
I am so terrible about my language at home. My husband throws me dirty stares all the time. So glad my daughter and I aren’t the ones. She’ll sometimes finish off every statement with “Dammit!”
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Sounds like Amy is having night terrors. My daughter had them on and off (like once every two to three months) for a couple of years. My Dr. said not to wake her and just reassure her I there and that everything is ok. Good luck.
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My mother didn’t swear, so I didn’t swear as a kid. Now can out-swear a sailor and often do. So, perhaps, Amy won’t swear as an adult?
I really enjoy your blog. Given all you are contending with, I am all the more grateful to you for the case of the giggles you often give me.
Hey, you’re doing better than a mum I know who laughs and encourages her 3 yr old to swear anywhere and everywhere.
Then wonders why she doesn’t get invited back to some peoples house…!
Jaynes last blog post..I am my mothers daughter…
Heh … My daughter started saying that word right at the beginning .. to my friend at the back door … “come on in Lynn, shut the fuckin’ door”. I let it go, I just taught all my kids that not everyone appreciates a child who uses inappropriate language and not to use it anywhere but at home. So far, so good.
I really only swear in the car. And Boo tells every one that the car makes Mummy very very angry. And I say only fuckers make me angry and I only happen to come across them when I am driving.
Not bad mother@ very normal mother who’s clearly in need of a decent nights sleep and a break. Wish I could give you one 🙂
Beas last blog post..the lifestyle experience – rural New Zealand.
lol I know its not meant to be funny but I still smile…
Cluster feeding? What is that? Is that where they get up every hour for 5 hours in a row or even every half hour for a feed, then dont feed for about 5 hours? Emily has done that the past 2 nights, getting up at 11 and not going down properly until 4. I got sick of it, put her in her bouncer and did housework while she sat and watched me until she decided she was hungry again. Nathan got up at 7:30 thinking the housecleaning fairies had been.
Tanyas last blog post..Men and Babies
You seriously think it’s odd that a fella would choose fruit over a tit?
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I’ve managed (with a supreme exercise of will) to avoid dropping the f-bomb around the kids, but I cannot wean myself off my desperate need to insert “shit” (or one of its derivatives) into every second sentence. And this habit is totally mirrored by the two girls.
To wit: When I picked my daughter up from school last night, her teacher grabbed me to tell me that the girl was progressing very fast with her reading and had just gone up another level, and all the home reading was paying big dividends.
Basking in the self-satisfied glow of my superior motherhood, I was then deservedly knocked down a peg by the follow-up comment…
Teacher: “I guess it’s difficult to keep up with everything with the baby so little and not sleeping well.”
Me: “Oh, you know …” Modest smile.
Teacher, with wry grin: “Your daughter decided to announce at Show and Tell this morning that ‘Our house is a complete mess at the moment, Mummy says its a total shitheap!'”
Me: “…”
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hahaha!! I had to start a “Mommy’s Potty Mouth” jar when Wynnie was about 18 months. EVERY time I dropped a bad word, I forced myself to drop a coin in the jar. I made quite a bit off myself. Now, I don’t swear in front of her, but when my husband and I are alone, every other word out of my mouth is the F word. I HAVE to get it out! There are so many F bombs log jammed in my brain that I MUST get them out.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..I have a dirty little secret
Ha, ha… My little brothers swore as babies too. Don’t fret it. I’ll be the same kind of mother. Tater’s first word may be WHORE.
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Isaac is getting so big! Wow! Lucy was a big cluster feeder, so I feel your pain there.
As for Amy, she and Julia would get along famously. They speak the same language.
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But how do you not LAUGH when she says these things? I can’t keep a straight face when James does that kind of stuff!
There’s nothing like hearing a toddler say shit to really make you think about your language. My recent favourite is the girl shouting “put your bloody foot down” when the car in front of us didn’t go quickly enough when the lights changed. The car windows were open and we were on a busy street. My, did I get some great looks!
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So sorry to hear about the nightmares. If they turn into night terrors and you ever want someone to chat with about it, shoot me an email. My daughter went through those hard-core for about 1.5 years. Just before my second daughter was born until recently. It’s tough, especially with a nursing baby, but it does get better!
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Oh, Veronica! Is it bad of me to say that this post just made me laugh so hard that I was almost in tears?!?
You are not a bad mother. You’re a very normal mother. I’ve had to watch my mouth a few times and Little One is only 7 months old. I TRY, but sometimes with the exhaustion, constant feeding and all the other things going on, it’s hard to be the picture of perfection. Heck, if we were the pictures of perfection, THEN I’d be worried!! 😉 xo
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