What You Need

There I things I have found, that will help you get through a day when no one (except for my MUCH LOVED partner) has had any sleep.

First, you need a puppy. A puppy provides HOURS of toddler entertainment. Hug the puppy! Kiss the puppy! Strangle the puppy!

If you don’t want to be bothered overly by the running! and the chasing!, you need to de-tooth and de-claw the puppy. Just a heads up from one who knows.

[And yes, everything Amy and Seven do, does indeed require an! exclamation! mark! Suck it up]

Second, you need an ENTIRE pack of unopened colour pencils. Preferably cheap and crappy pencils because they will be well used after today.

Remember to provide paper with the pencils or you will be cleaning them off the walls. Also, if your child is still in nappies, remember to not let them play with pencils nappy-less. Amy? Pencils are not used for examining yourself, okay?

Thirdly, books. Books are good when you are feeling tired.

Fourth, a mattress. I laid on the couch while Amy jumped, snuggled and generally ran amok on the mattress. Bliss.

Things we used today that I don’t recommend.

A tub of butter. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I do these things so you don’t have to.

Okay, so I didn’t GIVE her the butter. She may possibly have climbed onto a chair, reached onto the bench and proceeded to find and eat the butter. With her fingers. Mmmmmm. All this while I was trying to read my book. When Amy went silent I knew she was into mischief.

A bunch of celery.

Who knew that a bunch of celery could be so much fun? Eat it, play tug of war with it, shred it, there are SO MANY things you can do with celery. Plus, it is much easier to clean up than mashed potatoes. And it was only going to be used for soup stock anyway.

A sock bag full of odd socks.

All our odd socks (and currently all our underwear, all out paired socks and everything else odds and ends like) are kept in a cloth bag until I can be bothered sorting them.

Socks are so much fun IF you tip the entire bag onto the dog while she is sleeping and then belly flop into the pile as well. Hours of entertainment.

Or at least 5 minutes.

Until I start to swear that the sog is going to be de-toothed and de-clawed because DAMMIT! there went another pair of my underwear.

If all else fails? Follow through with your plan to visit grandparents.

‘Hi Nan!’ ‘Hi Mum!’

I may have been less than talkative, I may have been grumpy, but by god, there was someone else chasing Amy around. It did mean that her nap was an entire 8 minutes long and was taken in the car seat on the way home, but hey, someone else chased her and kept her out of trouble for me for a while.

Fantastic.

—-

I gave her a bottle of warm (unsweetened) chamomile tea to take to bed. Lets see if it helps for tonight. She did fall asleep pretty well, but then again she was completely wrecked.

As am I.

Good night.