Amy is an entity all of her own. Seriously, the kid is a handful. A funny handful, but a handful.
She has a pink ceramic dragon that she carries around alot.
Amy – ‘Mummy! My monkey!’
Me – ‘It’s a dragon. Say dragon’
Amy – ‘Monkey!’
Me – ‘But Amy, it’s a dragon. See?’
Amy – ‘No, it my MONKEY!’
Me – ‘Dragon…’
Amy – [to her dragon] ‘Hi monkey, come here walk walk walk’
Me – [to no one] ‘It’s a dragon.’
[Additionally, I just asked her where her ‘monkey’ was so I could photograph it. She had it this morning, but I can’t see it now. Stupid idea, she is now running around the house crying ‘monkey! OH NO! Gone! MONKEY! GONE! OH NO!’]
***
She sits next to me and asks ‘One?’
‘One what?’
‘Please? Have one?’
‘One what?’
‘One!!!’ [Starts to cry]
‘Sweetie, you need to tell me what one is’
‘PLEEEEEEASE…’
‘What do you want?’
[Amy runs to cupboard and points to it]
‘No sweetie, we aren’t having any chocolate now’
‘PLEEEEASE? ONE?’
‘No sweetheart, no chocolate’
‘Mummeeeeee. OH NO!’ [tantrum]
*sigh*
‘Nope, no chocolate today’
[Amy loses her shit. No chocolate obviously equates to no light or love in her life. Heh. Whose child is she?]
***
She turns 2 on Friday. Sorry, but how did I miss all that time passing? FRIDAY. TWO.
God help me.
Also? After a tantrumous Wednesday out in public, I want to get a t-shirt printed for me saying ‘She’s Two. That’s the problem’.
I really REALLY want a t-shirt printed with that.
***
But, aside from all the Two-ness that has stolen my toddler’s body, she is great fun. She eats anything and everything, but one of her favourite snacks is sliced cucumber with white balsamic vinegar. She would eat capsicum whole if I let her (unfortunately the seeds get everywhere) and she eats TONS of olives. Seriously, I think if I gave her a choice of olives and cucumber or chocolate, she would have a hard time choosing and would demand everything all at once.
She runs and demands kisses at every opportunity. She climbs into my lap asking ‘hugs me!’ She growls at the animals in a perfect imitation of Nathan and I.
And the crowning glory? The one I am SO not proud of?
She says fuck. Not very often, but when she does say it, it is used in context. Nathan and I nearly died the other day [laughing] because we were discussing ducks and Amy piped up with ‘Fuck a duck!’ Luckily she didn’t realise that we were laughing at her and hasn’t repeated it again.
She’s Two. Christ.
You are so ducked.
witchypoos last blog post..Blunk Drogging
Hahahahahahahaha!! She’s two. That’s the problem.
You have a permanent marker? Print your own t-shirt.
And of course, no chocolate DOES equal no light or love.
Chocolate is everything.
LOL.
She sounds so cute.
Why is it so cute when kids say words like that? My son hasn’t gotten to “Fuck” yet….but he has said shit. And he says like “Damn” and “Sucks” all the time.
Once he said in front of these old ladies….”What the HELL is that?”
They gave us such a look!
I was so tempted to say. “I don’t know where in the hell he gets such language.”
Awesome idea for a shirt.
Dinas last blog post..Finding a Place to Sleep in Canberra
Apart from the tantrums, the last molars coming through and the continuing lack of sleep, this is a wonderful age. Enjoy. My elder son couldn’t pronounce the letter F at the beginning of a word except for THAT word. Go figure….
Hahahahahahahahaha!
At least she didn’t say shit…to the doctor.
God love all little two year olds.
tiffs last blog post..Weekly Winners – wind dancers.
fuck a duck?
ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!
She’s ducking hilarious…
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..A man’s work is never done
I’ll have a T – shirt saying ‘she’s pre-teen, that’s the problem’. 😉
Kids! who’d have em?!
Oh, wait, we did heh
Bettinas last blog post..Serendipity
hehe..
sounds like a lot of fun and a handful..
wow two on friday where has that time gone?
Maddi is one in 6 weeks..
time flies..
Tazs last blog post..Wordless Wednesday..
Hehehe aww so sweet! 🙂
Such a handful at this age, but so much fun too!
Fuck a duck. Damn that kid’s a keeper. I liked the 2’s, the 4’s on the other hand can bite me.
nikkis last blog post..Recipe Sharing Friday #3
What a cutie! I remember the first time I heard my two year old say that word. It was hilarious. And, sadly, it was in correct context. She told my good friend to “come on in and shut the fuckin’ door”. Hmmm … with two older brothers, do you think she heard that before?
LOL ….Amy is so sweet.
Happy Birthday!!!
Jenn FLs last blog post..My WIP
My neighbor and I were just laughing last night that some days our daughters will ONLY EAT OLIVES as their vegetable. I figure olives must have some vegetable qualities, right?
I’m learning how to cope with 2 year-old tantrums in tandem with almost 5 year-old tantrums. LOVING IT!
Becoming a parent is punishment for all the youthful exhuberance you were able to enjoy. It’s life’s way of sucking all of that out of you so that you’re prepared to become an old person.
lceels last blog post..never again
Hi Veronica, my daughter has also started saying fuck, but so far just in response to when we say it. Like an echo. It really makes me feel like just about the shittiest parent on the planet. Oh, and what the heck is capsicum?
-Lilly
Lillys last blog post..A Baby Shower Story
OK, how is that biologically even possible?
No, don’t answer…
Amy is so smart. She thinks if she just asks for ONE you’d give her the whole jar. Doggone it, it didn’t work!
HEY, how’s the job coming along with Nathan?? Huh??
Mrs. Cs last blog post.."Look What Evil Bert Made Me Do!!"
Just think – in 20 yrs time she’ll be calling you when she’s sick and you’ll be giving her chocolate to make her feel better.
Just like I’m about to with Feral Queen 😉
Jaynes last blog post..Trivial History September 1
Wait until she adds “and make it quack!”
😉
Oh man, sounds like “two” to me 🙂
I am right there with you on time passing. Since becoming a mom, I’m finding that if something does not fall into the immediate future (like this week), I have no idea about it.
Sandy (Momisodes)s last blog post..Weekly Winners
Oh, how wonderful toddler logic is! Gotta love it. =) And of course you gotta love how easily they pick up on the exact phrases we DON’T want them to be able to use. Right now James says “DON’T!” about a million times a day right now. Also, “ohshit.” Sigh. Good thing they’re so cute.
SusanBs last blog post..Thirty Years Later…
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