Sleepless Nights

Author: Veronica

  • I went for an obstetric ultrasound and all I got was this lousy empty uterus

    A week before the wedding, I got a positive pregnancy test, which was lovely and fantastic and completely unexpected. Seeing as how we weren’t planning on starting Clomid until January, a natural pregnancy was a bit of a shock.

    But that’s okay – it was a good shock and I only told a very few people because I was spotting (my period started and stopped again, for those keeping track at home) and we weren’t sure what was happening.

    Then of course we ended up in Hospital with Isaac; running around like idiots getting the wedding prep and I was quietly vomiting in the corners when I had the chance. So much fun.

    We got married and while I spotted a little over the weekend, it wasn’t anything too major and I wasn’t bothered. Bleeding through an entire pregnancy with Isaac has raised my tolerance levels for spotting and such.

    Monday, I made an appointment with my GP to get my pregnancy confirmed and an ultrasound scheduled.

    Monday afternoon, I started to bleed relatively heavily – although not as heavy as a normal period, nor as painful.

    By Tuesday, it had lightened up a little, to the point that I wasn’t certain that I’d lost the pregnancy.

    Yesterday, I was still bleeding, but fed up with waiting for my appointment, I begged my GP to fax a referral off so that I could have an ultrasound ASAP to find out what was going on.

    Nothing bothers me worse than not knowing. Limbo is a special kind of torture for me and that limbo of bleeding too much to feel safe in my pregnancy, but not enough to be certain of a miscarriage was hell.

    This morning I got my ultrasound.

    And nothing.

    Empty uterus. No sign of pregnancy there at all.

    Which is fucking ridiculous, considering I spent the morning throwing up, and got another positive urine test yesterday evening.

    My body is fucked, you guys. It can’t do ANYTHING right.

    I went back to my GP to have blood HCG done and he’s as baffled as I am.

    Either I lost this pregnancy with minimal cramping and bleeding Monday night (unlikely?) or something weird is going on. Considering my body never falls on the easy side of statistics, my vote is for weird.

    I know when we are likely to have conceived (within the limits of sperm life), because I’m anal and I chart everything, but something is amiss here.

    Namely, the lack of fetus like material in my uterus. Or a uterus that looks pregnant at all.

    Argh.

    I’ll have my blood HCG levels back tomorrow lunchtime and if the levels are still pregnant (very likely) then I’ll have a second lot of bloods drawn on Monday to test and see if they’re going up or down.

    But until then, I’m stuck in this limbo hell, bleeding and vomiting, feeling pregnant and bemoaning my stupid uterus.

    And watching for signs of ectopic pregnancy, with increasing stress.

  • Individual pavlovas with strawberry pear champagne sauce

    The day after my wedding, as we cleaned up the house and yard, we discovered a few things.

    Firstly, half a bottle of pink champagne left in the alcohol fridge and secondly, a sheet pavlova, cream and strawberries that my gorgeous aunt had baked and brought up, that hadn’t been put together or served.

    Not wanting to waste the champagne, or the pavlova and not being a big drinker (or a drinker at all, really) I wondered what a strawberry champagne sauce would taste like.

    Google was next to useless and instead, I made it up as I went along and ended up with the gorgeous looking thing pictured above. Kudos to the other gorgeous aunt on Nathan’s side who gave us the dessert glasses.

    It was divine and really easy to make. Easy is something I very definitely needed!

    Ingredients:

    You need one small sheet pavlova,
    some whipped cream,
    a punnet of strawberries,
    a cup (thereabouts) of sweet champagne
    and one large pear, peeled, cored and diced.

    Method:

    Cut the strawberries up into quarters and dump into a saucepan, along with the diced peeled pear and champagne.

    Simmer until the alcohol has cooked off and the fruit is mushy. Using a stick blender, blend it up to a smooth thick liquid.

    Using a dessert glass, layer whipped cream, pavlova and the fruit sauce, until it all looks pretty.

    You could top this off with fans of strawberries, or mint sprigs. I was going to, but I turned around to check the sauce and my children had eaten them on me.

    Such is my life.

  • Wedding: More photos

    Yesterday I published photos of my wedding and afterwards, I was quietly chastised by a few people (in the very nicest way possible) who seemed to think that I ought to share more photos. I hadn’t shared lots, in order not to bore you all to tears, but it you all appear to like the photos very much.

    Last night and today I got some more photos from the ever amazing Tan’s camera (Tan did the flowers) and some photos that my grandfather took. I am inordinately grateful to the both of them for emailing through their photos, as more photos are never a bad thing and the rain meant that we didn’t take any staged photos.

    If you like, I can share more as they arrive in my inbox.

  • A wedding in a paddock

    The amazing cake, made by my friend Catherine.

    We’ve known each other since we were babies.

    So, it rained. Starting an hour before the ceremony, it rained and continued on throughout the rest of the day, meaning I don’t have nearly as many post ceremony photos as I would like.

    But that’s okay.

    Isaac refused to carry the rings or walk down the aisle, hiding in my neck like a koala instead.

    My mothers friend did my flowers and they made me happy every time I looked at them. My house is now full of gerberas and I love it.

    I think that’s about it. I’m still exhausted, I think it’s going to take a week to recover. I could not have gotten through yesterday without the amazing help from my little brothers friend Rhiarna (not pictured) who worked tirelessly and therefore has my eternal gratitude. Also, Tan (who did the flowers) and her daughter and daughters boyfriend .

    Amazing people. Really.

  • Married!

    I will have more photos tomorrow when I’m not quite so close to the brink of exhausted collapse.

    Oh and yes, Isaac wore his boots because he didn’t want to wear shoes and I didn’t have the energy left to argue. It was good enough that he wore a new tshirt.