I went for an obstetric ultrasound and all I got was this lousy empty uterus

A week before the wedding, I got a positive pregnancy test, which was lovely and fantastic and completely unexpected. Seeing as how we weren’t planning on starting Clomid until January, a natural pregnancy was a bit of a shock.

But that’s okay – it was a good shock and I only told a very few people because I was spotting (my period started and stopped again, for those keeping track at home) and we weren’t sure what was happening.

Then of course we ended up in Hospital with Isaac; running around like idiots getting the wedding prep and I was quietly vomiting in the corners when I had the chance. So much fun.

We got married and while I spotted a little over the weekend, it wasn’t anything too major and I wasn’t bothered. Bleeding through an entire pregnancy with Isaac has raised my tolerance levels for spotting and such.

Monday, I made an appointment with my GP to get my pregnancy confirmed and an ultrasound scheduled.

Monday afternoon, I started to bleed relatively heavily – although not as heavy as a normal period, nor as painful.

By Tuesday, it had lightened up a little, to the point that I wasn’t certain that I’d lost the pregnancy.

Yesterday, I was still bleeding, but fed up with waiting for my appointment, I begged my GP to fax a referral off so that I could have an ultrasound ASAP to find out what was going on.

Nothing bothers me worse than not knowing. Limbo is a special kind of torture for me and that limbo of bleeding too much to feel safe in my pregnancy, but not enough to be certain of a miscarriage was hell.

This morning I got my ultrasound.

And nothing.

Empty uterus. No sign of pregnancy there at all.

Which is fucking ridiculous, considering I spent the morning throwing up, and got another positive urine test yesterday evening.

My body is fucked, you guys. It can’t do ANYTHING right.

I went back to my GP to have blood HCG done and he’s as baffled as I am.

Either I lost this pregnancy with minimal cramping and bleeding Monday night (unlikely?) or something weird is going on. Considering my body never falls on the easy side of statistics, my vote is for weird.

I know when we are likely to have conceived (within the limits of sperm life), because I’m anal and I chart everything, but something is amiss here.

Namely, the lack of fetus like material in my uterus. Or a uterus that looks pregnant at all.

Argh.

I’ll have my blood HCG levels back tomorrow lunchtime and if the levels are still pregnant (very likely) then I’ll have a second lot of bloods drawn on Monday to test and see if they’re going up or down.

But until then, I’m stuck in this limbo hell, bleeding and vomiting, feeling pregnant and bemoaning my stupid uterus.

And watching for signs of ectopic pregnancy, with increasing stress.