I awake to the sound of Isaac crying. Blearily I stumble out of bed and down the hallway. His face breaks into a grin as I look at him, the nightlight casting shadows over both of us. I pick him up and sit down on the couch to feed him. He arches his back and turns away, hunting for the light.
For him, it is morning.
I peer at my watch. The nightlight is not conducive to watch reading, surely it doesn’t say 5am? Unfortunately, it does.
I gather him up, still in his swaddle and take him back to my bed. He’ll play and I will pretend it is still night time.
We snuggle down, him, a cracker in hand and me, hiding in my pillow. He grabs a handful of my hair and munches contentedly. The pulling hurts, so I wiggle him further away and hand him the remote to chew on. Contented, he sighs.
Nathan opens one eye and looks at us, his peace disturbed. I counter by placing my cold feet on his legs to warm them. He mumbles, but doesn’t pull away.
Contentment never lasts longer than 20 minutes, so our time here is limited. Soon he will complain about his wet nappy and his belly that is grumbling for solids – my milk; not enough.
I sniff the top of his head and sigh. I’m so very tired, but this is nice
Later we will watch the sun rise, looking out the windows with him on my hip. Amy isn’t awake yet, this is our time. Him and me. Me and him.
Us.
***
Breakfast time.
Amy sits on the floor peeling grapes.
Why?
Huh?
Why are you peeling grapes?
Cos.
Oh. Okay.
It makes sense to her, I won’t argue.
I boil the kettle while Isaac grumbles on the floor. Not long woken up from a nap, I suspect he’s still tired. A mug, a teabag and some sugar. Add the water and walk away.
I find some peas in the freezer and pour boiling water over them. Not yet warm enough, they go on the stove to heat through. I add milk to my tea and stir. A big sip later, I’m happy. Why didn’t I do this 3 hours ago when I first woke up?
Oh. Right. I was pretending it was still night time.
Isaac grumbles louder, near to crying. I hand him a square of bread to gum while I prep the peas. He gurgles, putting his fist in his mouth, bread and all. I drain the peas and place them in a container.Two minutes later and breakfast is ready.
I sit Isaac in his bouncer with a tea towel as a bib. His eyes light up as the spoon moves towards his mouth. Happily he eats his peas, one mouthful at a time.
He lifts his foot and waggles it at me. Preoccupied with getting peas in his mouth and nowhere else, I ignore it. He waggles harder.
I look.
It’s a very nice foot Isaac.
He grins and kicks, happy that I noticed.
The last mouthful goes in his mouth, just as he sneezes.
Peas everywhere.
Isaac giggles.