How to…

…write a blog post with 2 children, a partner and a dog all at home bothering you.

Find some time to sit down with your laptop. Try and ignore the steadily increasing pile of clean washing that needs folding and look dead ahead at your screen.

Think.

Think.

Think.

Settle Isaac down for a nap under his activity gym, because if he isn’t complaining about laying under there, why rock the boat?

Feed Amy lunch.

Send partner outside to have a damn smoke already and stop looking at me like that, I swear I’ll help with the housework in just a minute and seriously dude, you’re not working anymore, what’s with all the martyrdom?

Close laptop lid and resettle Isaac because Amy nearly fell on him just as his eyes closed.

Wonder why on earth you never thought of settling him under the activity gym before. Wonder if it would work all night. Wonder if we need a mobile for his cot.

Lament the fact that Isaac likes falling asleep with the blankets over his head. Wonder if you will ever stop panicking when you wake at 2am and can only see a lump of blankets next to you instead of a nicely sleeping infant’s head.

Give Isaac back his dummy.

Lather, rinse, repeat for the next 10 minutes. Start to wonder if 10 minutes ‘rest’ is actually enough for him.

Close laptop lid and get up to check on dinner. Get distracted while you are there and make yourself a cup of tea. Get distracted once the tea is made and forget to drink it.

Come back inside with a grubby toddler in tow and remember your tea. Also your blog post.

Sigh.

Open laptop again.

Think of a topic. Something deep. Something humorous. Something fun.

Give up because one of the children needs a nappy change. Curse toilet training regression. We were NEARLY there and now, nothing.

Sigh.

Close laptop lid and check dinner again. Not cooked yet. Thank god you remembered to put it on to cook early enough.

Have partner cover you in random couch cushions. Wish that the kids weren’t awake so you could turn it into some sort of game and make it fun at least.

Remember that blog post you started an hour ago? Still sitting there. Get distracted checking your reader and trying to comment on blogs. Give up commenting and just read. [Hi guys]

Wonder if showering alone is actually counted as alone time. If so, that sucks.

Resettle tired baby. 30 second cat naps appear to be his forte. Curse the genetics that gave you non-sleeping children.

Try and write something while breastfeeding. Fail.

Give up entirely and write about your last few days of trying to write a blog post instead.

Press publish and try to ignore the fact that you suck.