This Universe:
‘How are you doing?’
‘Oh, okay. You know. We’re coping.’
‘Oh. Okay.’
An Alternate Universe:
‘How are you doing?’
‘Let me see. The plumber spent almost 8 hours here yesterday and I still have a leak, although I do have a pretty shiny new hot water system now. The leak is so bad you could throw buckets of water at my bathroom floor and it would be drier than it is now. He was meant to come back this morning and finish the job, but guess what? We haven’t seen him. Instead, we’ve taken a bunch of his equipment hostage and he can’t have it back until we’re all dried out. First rule of Tradies. Don’t leave your gear behind. Ha.
I originally thought this plumbing issue was going to cost around $1000. Now? I’m doubling the price in my head. I’m also practising pulling money out of my arse, because god knows that’s the only way it will get paid for. Anyone want to put an ad on my sidebar? I’ll do it cheap.
I spent most of today cooking a cake, only to reach dinnertime and realise, I had no fucking idea where the day went and no idea what to cook for dinner. Good thing Amy likes pasta.
My wrist has dislocated a fuckload of times today. It’s even floppier than before and that’s saying something. Unfortunately, it’s my right hand (I’m right handed, obviously). No hand jobs for Nathan. Also no blow jobs because my jaw dislocates when I sneeze and Nathan really doesn’t need me to start screaming and seizing up when he’s in a rather vulnerable position.
I think I’m feeding a small possum in my sleep. At least, it looks like I have been. Chewed nipples, scratches. Surely my son isn’t doing that?
And have I mentioned I have a lovely little lump in my breast? And I am a TAD STRESSED?
I keep stopping to laugh at everything and crack jokes, because DUDE, you can’t make this shit up.
Oh look! Something shiny…
Wait, what were you saying?’
‘I said, how are you doing?’
‘Oh yeah. Okay. You know.’
‘Oh. Okay.’
Oh sweety. Hope the guy comes back to finish the job asap. If he doesn’t then you should be able to *not* pay him though, right?
((hugs))
Marylins last blog post..The time I got some bloggy love.
In an alternate universe dollars COULD quite possibly be pulled out of your arse….
Hope the tradie has got back to you by now. Surely he’s missing his pipe wrench or something, wondering where the f*** he left it?
In an alternate universe, the tradie would have said, I can see that you are having a crap time of it right now, let me do it for half price.
Hope things get better soon.
tiffs last blog post..This girl of mine.
In your alternate universe you can pull $$$ out of your arse, well honey in this universe, this plumber of yours can surely pull his finger out of his?
I’d offer to send my cat to mop it up (oh he’d make a great towel, all warm & fluffy) but I need him to distract the child.
Hope your plumber turns up, the wee possum retracts his claws & hubby makes you a nice cup of tea x
Vanessas last blog post..Paneab: Jeez I am sooo glad I don’t live in Turangi, how many earthquakes today? 5,6?
Ok, so he didn’t come back.
Fucker.
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Hey, you, whatsit…
I’m so sorry. I hope the plumber comes back really soon.
Joyce-Annes last blog post..The Last Day
Well, at least it sounds like Isaac is healthy! I was worried about him!!
Hope the plumber can fix it soon and you can worry about money later. :[
Mrs. Cs last blog post..A Boring, Theological Post On Church (Part I).
Do Aussie plumbers (or Tasmanian, if they’re a legitimate subset of the Aussie group) display butt crack like ours do over her?
lceels last blog post..A bad day for an Anniversary.
Oh lord.
In my universe it would have been
Me: “How are you doing? I’ve bought you chocolate and here is a cup of tea I’ve made you. I’ll take your children out while you drink it. My husband here will fix your water and then take your husband out for a beer (well, I can’t do anything about the hand/blow job so a beer will have to do him)”.
You: “Oh, ok.”
Barbaras last blog post..Wooden Cheese
oh lord, what a time for everything to fall apart. wish you luck . . . and dry floors.
Coping is good . . . and manic grins are so ‘in’ this season Veronica. Wish I had a magic wand to make all the nasties go away but in this Universe it just doesn’t happen. Sorry ;-( BTW, surely not coming back ‘tomorrow’ gives you an extra 30 days to pay the bloody plumber’s invoice and that only after you have made a deduction for the extra laundry costs involved in mopping up the continuing leak that he shouldn’t have left anyway?
Have some info re EDS from my friend who is a physio that you may not already have. Let me know when you have some time and a few non-preoccupied brain cells and I’ll pass it on 😉
When it rains it pours, doesn’t it? I’m sorry I haven’t been commenting….I have been thinking about you. And I’m really, really sorry about your Nan – that’s just hitting a little too close to home right now for me to formulate any helpful or comforting words.
I won’t tell you not to worry about the money or the leak, but eventually the universe gets tired of fucking with us and when it moves on to the next poor sucker things will seem a little brighter.
Hugs babe, and I’m sorry everything is so hard right now. I can’t think of anyone who deserves a rainbow more than you do.
badness joness last blog post..Garbage Picker
Bastard plumber. Tradesmen suck. Hope it gets sorted quickly.
Alis last blog post..Old
hoping the plumbing is all fixed soon..
btw get to the doctor.. 🙂
In an alternate universe, I’d fix your floor… because I’m REALLY REALLY good at floors. And tiling.
And I’d call and rip a new arsehole into the plumber and he’d be giving you a great big discount!
That would be the same alternate universe that would have that HUGE hole in my kitchen ceiling magically go away, too!
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..JOO-lie Forth
IDEA!
Let the plumber look after Nathan, Isaac and Amy for a week while you run away to a tropical island.
No, you’re right.
He’d end up charging you triple the amount.
Jaynes last blog post..Free heating – pull my finger !
I think you are having the shittiest time and can only hope that things get better. Thinking of you.
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