Missing

by Veronica on April 11, 2010

in Cancer, Grief, Headfuck

A year ago we sat around an outdoor table, surrounded by family. Easter had coincided with Nan’s birthday and we were barbecuing and celebrating, knowing in the back of our minds that it was likely to be the last birthday and Easter Nan celebrated.

We were of course hopeful that that wouldn’t be the case, but we were wrong.

A year ago we laughed and played and Isaac napped, a small baby still, asleep in his bouncer.

Slowly everyone left and I stayed, curled up in Nan’s armchair, reading her cookbooks and discussing everything under the sun with her as we pointed out likely recipes. Amy ran around, eating chocolate, while we waited for Isaac to wake up.

Nan was in the middle of chemo and horribly sick.

It was hard to watch, knowing that we couldn’t change it, or fix it.

However, it was warm and comfortable, talking.

Of course, we discussed her cancer – we always did.

We didn’t know that almost 10 weeks later Nan would be laying dying in a hospital room while we stood in a ring around her, giving her permission to leave.

Of all the things I miss, the common sense advice, the phone calls, the visits, just because, I miss curling up in the chairs at Nans and just talking more than anything else.

I miss her.

So much.

April has always been Nan’s month, her birthday and Easter intertwined always.

Today would have been her 65th birthday.

Happy Birthday Nan.

I miss you more and more each day it seems.

Sharon April 11, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Sweetheart, I hope you spent some time today curled up in a chair talking recipes with Nan, just like before. It helps.

xox

Tanya April 11, 2010 at 9:13 pm

Oh Von. XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kim (frogponsrock) April 11, 2010 at 9:17 pm

Now you have made me cry.

Kim (frogponsrock) April 11, 2010 at 9:21 pm

Then later on that day Mum and I went down to the hospital for another dose of chemo. We took a basket of easter eggs with us for the nurses and patients. But they had a huge box of cadbury chocs from the factory in there and we brought our chocolate home with us again.

Brenda April 11, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Oh Veronica, hugs to you my friend.xoxo

taz April 11, 2010 at 10:25 pm

biggest hugs to you hun..

just remember i am here for you always..

Deb April 12, 2010 at 12:06 am

This is eerie. My Nan died last week and was buried on Friday, I couldn’t go because we live interstate. She had cancer, it would have been her 92nd birthday this Friday. April has always been her and my father’s month, his birthday is slightly later, and my daughter narrowly missed being born on Nan’s 90th birthday. I was disappointed, it would have been very special. I’ve been sad on and off, it hits me unexpectedly when something reminds me, it has been a help to read this. Thankyou for letting me share your grief.

Marie April 12, 2010 at 3:25 am

Reread your old post. Recried with you. Hugs.

Joyce-Anne April 12, 2010 at 4:34 am

Hugs. I can’t help but feel I know Nan through your stories and find myself missing her for you.

Pia April 12, 2010 at 9:22 am

I’m sorry. sending you love.

Jayne April 12, 2010 at 9:39 am

I’m so sorry you lost her (((hugs)))

achelois April 12, 2010 at 10:44 am

I’m so sorry Veronica.

ed April 12, 2010 at 1:47 pm

nice. that is all.

maiden53 April 12, 2010 at 3:03 pm

Happy Birthday to your Nan 🙂

I miss my dad everyday… it has been 5 yrs now. Some days are easier and once in a while it is a disaster day. I miss him, too, all the time. But remember, V, that she lives on with you and your children. Honor her and pass her to others through your heart. Your Nan was a beautiful woman!

river April 12, 2010 at 6:16 pm

Happy Birthday to your Nan. I’m sure she’s enjoying chocolate heaven while she watches over you all.

minut'd'automne April 12, 2010 at 6:17 pm

I can see how hard it is for you. My husband lost his father through cancer when he was 25. Try and keep in mind that someday you will be someone’s Nan too, you will share your common sense advice, your cheerfulness, your warmth, your memories and one day will be missed too. It is wonderful to have had that bond that will keep living through you and your loved ones. When the inevitable happens it’s better to miss that person than not because it is a token of the bond you had. I hope you get what I mean with my clumsy english. hang on there!

Marylin April 12, 2010 at 9:32 pm

Oh sweetheart. Sending you loads of love.

Happy Birthday to your Nan xxxxxx

Treacy April 12, 2010 at 10:28 pm

Happy Birthday Nan

hugs.

Martin April 13, 2010 at 8:49 am

I just hope some of this birthday was happy.

Kristy April 14, 2010 at 3:42 am

She sounds like a lovely woman. I bet she checks in on you every once in a while!

Barbara April 14, 2010 at 8:32 am

So sorry. xxx

tiff April 14, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Love to you and your Mum.

Happy birthday Nan.

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