On Alfred.

This is Alfred.

Some of you will know Alfred as the half dead, starved kitten that showed up on my property a few months back. Today, Alfred is sporting the beginnings of a double chin and enough personality to fill a large room.

He adores Evelyn. Mostly because she smells milky and delicious. She sticks her fingers in his mouth and he bites them. She tastes good, apparently. He’s a little bit psycho, and will occasionally wrap himself around my ankle and for no good reason attempt to kill my foot.

Alfred has taken to exploring on top of my bathroom cupboards, knocking things to the floor, at which point he’ll run away and pretend he was never there. That’s where he was when I took this photo.

As soon as I get my boobs out to breastfeed Evie, Alfred is there, wiggling between us. He thinks breastfeeding smells really interesting and sometimes he’ll even let Evie pat him as she feeds. Mostly he bites her though. Which doesn’t stop her patting him. I tried squirting him with milk once, when he had driven me mad and distracted Evelyn over and over. I got him right in the eye. He wasn’t fazed and I don’t think it helped.

He loves me, a lot. If I’ve got an empty lap, he’ll sit in it. He’ll sit on my keyboard to stop me typing, He’d be bothering me right now, except he heard Amy roll over in bed a few minutes ago and raced down there to sleep on her tummy.

Alfred drools when you pat him. This is kind of gross. I warn people, but it doesn’t stop him pushing under their hands for affection and then drooling on their legs. Before he showed up here, we don’t think he’d ever been touched with affection. Now he’s addicted.

He went to the vet a fortnight ago and came home missing his testicles. He stalked around the house for three days looking offended and pointedly licking himself. I’d hoped it would curb the biting/killing/wild behaviours, but no luck. It’s okay though, because he tries to hunt mice.

Mostly I keep cats because they’re useful. They’re soft to pet, they kill pests and they make sure that I never ever look too clean or well put together. But Alfred, I like Alfred. He has personality, and I like to think that he has a little bit of extra gratefulness to me for saving him.