Wakeful baby. Is wakeful.
It’s 11.35pm and I am awake with Isaac.
[Updated: it is now 12.09am and he has successfully nommed himself to sleep. Think of me as I move us both from the loungeroom to bed]
Now if I was more together, this post would be coupled with a photo, but cut me some slack. I just went to change Isaac’s nappy and I am so tired I forgot HOW to change him, half way through the change. In fact, I think I may have forgotten that I was changing him at all. I don’t quite remember now. I know that I eventually remembered what I was doing and his little bum is now all parceled back up.
And boobs! He wants BOOBS, RIGHT NOW plskthnx.
Couple this with the flailing and the om nom nomming and the wiggling and the snuffling and oh god did I mention the flailing?
He’s a good baby though, especially of a daytime when other people can see him. He naps like a champion – in my arms – my naked boob right in front of his mouth just in case he needs a little more. He is content for whole minutes at a time, so long as he is Up! And looking about! And being talked to! Less content if he is down in his bouncer at ankle level. I can only imagine that the fun things to look at do not reside at ankle level.
He doesn’t cry much either, but then he is only 3 weeks old and if I recall, it took Amy about 5 weeks to find her voice. Some days I wish she would lose it again.
And the best bit? He stays mostly asleep overnight, waking only to feed. He is however, the noisiest, fussiest sleeper I have ever seen. He snores, he fusses, he snuffles and growls. He also seems to need the tip of my little finger in his mouth all night.
I am still trying to work out what is better; a pink and wrinkled little finger that has been sucked on for hours, or a soggy nipple that has had the same thing happen to it.
Needless to say, I’m not exactly sleeping lately.
To be honest, it’s not exactly the easiest time to be dealing with constant breastfeeding and entirely sleepless nights (although, it does mean my blog name is good for a little while yet). Nan’s tumour has grown. Lots. And faster than we expected too. After the great news in November that it had shrunk so much, it’s now back and spreading.
Not content to do what most cancer does though, her cancer has spread to her heart. Not something we were expecting. If it had of spread, the liver ‘should’ have been it’s next port of call. Funnily enough, her liver is clear and healthy. Heh.
The crappiest bit though? Yeah, there isn’t anything left that they can do. Chemotherapy will just make her sicker – and the radiation that she had before isn’t an option anymore. (She developed Radiation Pneumonitis from the last lot, therefore, no more.)
It’s shit. Actually, it fucking sucks. It all fucking sucks.
The doctors are saying three to six months. Knowing Nan, we are counting on twelve. Still not enough. No where near enough.
It’s not meant to be like this.
***
Also, does anyone know how to get lanolin based nappy cream out of toddler hair? I have shampoo’d it once, but then Amy tipped the entire bottle of shampoo into the bath water and etc etc, so I didn’t get around to shampooing it a second time. She had a severe case of naughty today. Sigh.
Will try and shampoo it again in the morning.
***
Finally, remember that Nan reads my blog, so keep that in mind when you are commenting. She might just decide to growl at anyone that gets too morbid.
That does suck.
big time.
Mistress Bs last blog post..Did you know…..
Isaac keeping you awake and Amy keeping you on your toes…But its all worth it isnt it? 🙂
No one expects you to post a photo amid the sleepless nights…just a post is note-worthy
Good Luck to Nan, am very sorry to hear bad news xxx
I dont really know what else to write as I am up too at 2am with a case of the cant sleeps.
Tanyas last blog post..Friends of the belly
I’m really sorry to hear about your Nan. That is crap news x a zillion.
🙁
Sharnees last blog post..hot hot hot
To Nan and V~you are so lucky to have each other! Nan will live on in your heart forever 🙂 The love you have for each other will endure.
maiden53s last blog post..For Jessica
i hope you get some sleep soon..
sorry to hear of the news of ya nan.. am sending good thoughts to all
thinking of you
((hugs))
Tazs last blog post..67 Weeks Old and 9 Weeks Old
Oh my. I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you and your Nan. I hope the docs are wrong. They don’t know everything.
Nan, it’s time to do some parasailing and skydiving, all that stuff you know you want to do… Ok, maybe not parasailing. But a trip or something lovely. If you are right with God, things will be right for you when the time comes. You have a wonderful family, Nan, and I know you have trained your daughter and granddaughter into being such LOVING people who want to make a difference. You have a legacy.
Marie is right that the doctors don’t know everything. If they do, they can’t get you for running up that credit card over the next month or so LOL.
:[
Hugs.
Mrs. Cs last blog post..We’re Expecting!
Hope you get to sleep soon. (((HUGS)))
Jeanettes last blog post..Leave me alone
I’ve re-written this comment so many times in an attempt to not sound either maudlin, or go the other way and sound too flippant. So I’ll keep it simple. I’m sorry and my thoughts and love are with you, your mum and your nan.
Barbaras last blog post..38/365 – Icy
(((hugs)))
frogpondsrocks last blog post..Question and answer time..
SORRY BOUT THE BOOBS,, never did that and even reading your bit on it all wish I would have,, and NAN… you kick some doctor butt and hang in there and enjoy EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!
ok go take a nap now….. nite.
Just a moms last blog post..I NEED TO FIND CONTROL,,,,,,,,
SO sorry about your Nan. That totally fucking sucks. My heart aches a little bit for you. It’s not anywhere near enough. That’s as morbid as I’m going to get. I’ve always thought that when you’re down to knowing that someone you love is going to die, that’s the time to do what you can to help them make piece with it, rather than being all whiney and sad for your own loss. I don’t mean that to sound like a jerk at all, so hope it doesn’t come across that way.
Big LOL on “content for whole minutes at a time”!!!
Lanolin in the hair – honestly I think it’s the same as vasoline. There’s nothing to be done about it but wash it once or twice a day and eventually it will be gone. Takes about a week.
I’m impressed that you have found the power to be witty, on so little sleep. Supermom.
Kats last blog post..My Short Story Won This Fabulous Prize
I’m so sorry about your Nan honey. I wish I could say or do something that could make you feel better, but I know it’d fail miserably, so I’m just going to do my usual of sending you (((huge hugs))) and large doses of chocolate, before telling you what a wonderful mum you’re being – WELL DONE YOU! xoxox
Marylins last blog post..Photohunt: Bridges
I’m so sorry about your Nan. Spend as much quality time together as possible, work and chores be damned. Family, babies, Nan… that’s all that matters.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..Massage and Masochism
Hugs to you, and Nan. Cancer blows.
Badness Joness last blog post..The Prodigal Chair returns!
Cancer’s a bitch. But I’m with Mrs C — make a list of everything you ever wanted to do, Nan — and get out there and do the lot! Live every day you have.
Toni Lawss last blog post..My little secret…. is out!
Who needs sleep? You’re a Mum of 2 now hee-hee! At least you still have your WIT even if not always your wits about you 😉
Sorry to hear that Nan’s cancer is being so unkind and inconsiderate. Hi Nan 😉 I’m with those of ‘the make a list and do as many of the things you’ve always wanted to’ persuasion. Go for broke, quality is better than quantity any day. If my cancer comes back yet again that’s what I’m going to do – and I’m bloody well going to enjoy every minute of it I can too!!
Huge hugs to all of you
I’m really sorry to hear about your Nan. At least you’ve got time to prepare. To see her lots and say goodbye. a sudden unexpected death would be so much harder.
The nappy cream head? Shave it. Just kidding.
And about the little finger tip sucking? I’d be cheating and giving him a dummy. Anything for a few hours peace. Although I’m not sure exactly how peaceful it is to be getting up and replacing the dummy every time he loses it.
I have just found your blog through top 100 Aussie bloggers. You have a nice blog and I have enjoyed browsing, thank you for sharing.
I am very sorry to read that your family is dealing with the dreaded cancer. Your Nan is in my thoughts and prayers.
Cornstarch or cornmeal powder is the solution to get an oily substance from the hair. You put the cornmeal in the hair where the lanolin is (do not rub in) and wash the area with shampoo a couple of times. I have dealt with vaseline in my daughters hair and this worked great.
What Hyphen Mama said. Knowing what I know of you, and your Mum, I imagine your Nan must be some kind of amazing woman. Family and babies, and Nan. That’s all that counts.
lceels last blog post..Saturday Short
What they said. Really. And a big fat raspberry to cancer, because things were just going too damn well, weren’t they??
I’m so sorry.
So much happiness and sadnees all wrapper d into one.
Your Nan and your Mum and you are in my thoughts.
Always
tiffs last blog post..Weekly Winners.
I’m so sorry about Nan!!! *** hugs ***
If I recall correctly, it takes about three good lathery shampoos to wash out lanolin from toddler hair. They just look really greasy til it all comes out ( and I’m so glad to know my toddlers aren’t the only ones to do this… Same with the shampoo dumped in the tub!) 🙂
Thank you all for your kind thoughts, you all did very well in following Veronica’s’ instructions on no morbidness 🙂 and yes I am planning on taking a trip round Tasmania with my amazing 86 yr old mum, I have 4 weeks annual leave coming up and intend to enjoy every minute of it, I will think seriously about retiring from work after that….maybe
Life does this just when things are going so well. Why? God knows, but I know I’ll have more than a few questions for Him if and when I get there.
Lots of hugs and warm wishes your way for your Nan, wishing the best for her and your family.
Beas last blog post..needing your advice
Lanolin is an oil; therefore, you need something especially designed to remove oil/grease, such as dishwashing liquid.
Elizabeth Barrettes last blog post..Joining Community Supported Agriculture
That’s a very bad news!
** Shuffles feet **
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Murdering the home help
So sorry to hear about the tumors growing and cancer spreading. I hope Nan has a fantastic trip around Tassie.
PlanningQueens last blog post..Menu Plan Monday – Easy Mexican Family Recipe
Bad news about Nan, but I am sure she is going to enjoy her trip – just make the best of every second together!
Hope you get some sleep sooon – I really feel for you young Mums! And the littlies today seem so much more active! LOL!
Janet Bs last blog post..Satara!
Veronica, this is so funny because I was just saying to Nelson the other day that Miles seems most content when he’s sleepign with my nipple pressed against his mouth. God FORBID I try to put it away and maybe get some sleep, haha!
Sorry to hear about Nan – you have so much going on right now, hun, hang in there.
Jennis last blog post..Wordless Wednesday #7: Brothers
Sorry, friend. i’m thinking of you and your family.
And also? Having two children is really hard. You sound like you’re doing a fantastic job. 🙂
jessica @pianomomsicles last blog post..PPD
I am very sorry to hear about your Nan. I’m not a big believer in miracles — but I *am* a big believer in fighters. It ain’t over ’til it’s over, you know? And one day, in three months or a year or ten years, a fighter will make sure it’s all on her own terms. You can’t ask for something better or more beautiful than that. At least, that’s what I think… so, you know, take it for what it’s worth.
Robin G.s last blog post..A snippet of a play within a play.
Yuck, all around. Feeling for you Nan, as much as is possible, which obviously isn’t helpful. Wish there was a way I could help you girls! Sending white light.
Cats last blog post..I’m A Puppy For Your Love
I’m so sorry about your Nan. It’s hard when you’re physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted to deal with all of this. Try to take it one day at a time. Hyphen Mama and lceel said it already focus on the family and the babies. I will say a prayer for Nan.
Joyce-Annes last blog post..Focusing on me
Nan, totally retire and spend the rest of your time doing nothing but what makes you happy! Take trips flash your boobs, sky dive and just have fun. Screw the rest.
V, sorry about soggy nipples and fingers. I am still ticked about your new little one (probably because I am still not experiencing sleepless nights). Oh and how sweet of Amy to keep the naughtiness up for you, bet she is just trying for extra attention huh?
Get one of those baby carrier wrap things so that that little guy can be at your boob 24/7. Hope you sneak a nap soon! Can’t N just hold him to your boob while you sleep a few hours?
Talinas last blog post..Coming out of the winter coma on a warm and sunny weekend…
I am so sorry about your Nan that sucks suck sucks.
Why not put peanut butter on her hair. I’m not sure if it will work but why not add to the special things stuck in her hair.
Actually I looked it up and it says just keep rewashing. Good luck
Suzies last blog post..My Own Little Typhoid Mary
Wish I could give you a hug and a long nap! I’m so sorry about your Nan. My thoughts are with you all. I hope you get some sleep so you can enjoy your family a little bit more~
SusanBs last blog post..Story time!
First, it’s nice to see that complete and total exhaustion has not hampered your sense of humor at all!
Second, I am so sorry to hear about your Nan. I work with children with cancer and the best piece of advice that I can give you is to never give up hope. Miracles can and do happen every day. Surround her with love, say the things that you need to say, but never, ever give up hope.
{{hugs}}
Andis last blog post..That figures.
nan, please don’t growl at me as i send you a stranger’s virtual hug across a very long distance and hope you don’t hear the phrase “as ______ (insert inane word of choice here) as possible” for a long time to come.
veronika, glad the nappy skills came back…was imaginin bubba wrapped in cheese, or dustballs, or anything else close to hand that might have seemed useful thru that fog!
wishing u all many many beautiful times together,
x
Oh those sleepless nights. I can only imagine how challenging it is with a toddler in tow. I am completely impressed that you even had the time to post. Well done 🙂
I am so sorry to hear about your Nan. Please know that she is in my thoughts and prayers.
Momisodess last blog post..Think she wants a princess one instead?
I hope things work out. Sorry about your Nan. But you need to sleep. Get rested
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