Sleepless Nights

Author: Veronica

  • Scheduling

    It’s Sunday night and I’m meant to be getting the week’s posts written in advance, so that I don’t have to stress about them. But this week, it’s not an easy week for me and I’ve been mired in a web of grief and exhaustion.

    By Wednesday, when this is due to be posted, I will have tweeted lots, gotten Amy off to school after school holidays, possibly managed a cup of tea without anyone stealing it, or more likely, been forced to share that cup of tea with Isaac, while be obsessively asks where his sister is.

    Our days are similar and they bleed into one another, a haze of come here, put that down, don’t eat that, where on EARTH are your shoes and didn’t I tell you no already? The similarity means that another year has passed, seemingly without me noticing it and here we are again, in the race up to the 24th. Time doesn’t slow for anyone and every day takes us further away from a palliative care hospital room and a death rattle. From the sight of eyes as they died and hands like wax.

    I wish it were easy, but it appears that grief is not. Not for anyone and I am sick of feeling like I ought to defend my grief to the Universe, and play a game of Pain Olympics, wherein we all work out who has it worse and who has it better and why. I am sick of feeling like I should somehow be less hurt, less sad, because after all, she was ‘only your grandmother‘.

    It doesn’t work like that.

    Grief is grief is grief.

    We all hurt, we all cry and we all breathe through our days until they pass behind us and we wonder where they went. My pain doesn’t negate your pain and neither should yours negate mine. We all walk this life and breathe the same air and feel emotion.

    This is a hard week, so forgive me if instead of being online I am hiding in a corner with a book and a toddler wedged under my arm, a warm damp lump. Forgive me when I don’t have any words for you to read, or I’m more bitter than normal.

    But of course, you’re the Internet. Of course you’ll forgive me.

    It’s everyone else who doesn’t.

     

  • Saltimbanco. Just, wow.

    It’s been a very long time since Nathan and I got to go out together and do something, just for us. In fact, the last time we went to the movies, I was 36 weeks pregnant with Amy.

    Originally, when I saw that Saltimbanco was coming to Hobart, I thought that I would take Amy. After thinking about it for a bit and knowing that it would be well past her bedtime by the time the show even started, adding in her sensory issues (visual and auditory) and her dislike of new and unpredictable things, I wasn’t sure it would have been a good evening.

    So when the PR team for Saltimbanco confirmed that yes, I could definitely have two tickets to the opening night and I stopped dancing around the living room, I decided that Nat and I had to leave the kidlets at home and go together.

    Nathan was, of course, very happy to come along.

    Wednesday night, we got ourselves a babysitter, and escaped out into the freezing cold, feeling like naughty children the whole time.

    I cannot rave enough about how fantastic Saltimbanco was. If you’ve got a chance to see it, GO.

    The performers were amazing and everything was accompanied by live music and a woman whose voice was absolutely stunning.

    Five minutes into the show, I found myself wondering if they had actually managed to lessen gravity in the middle of the stage. The way the performers moved and spun, it really did look like they were less affected by gravity than normal humans.

    I think I spent the first half of the show in stunned awe and the second half alternating between laughing and awe. Eddy the Clown was hilarious and I would just like to congratulate the audience member that he pulled up on stage to help him out with a portion of the act, because he was brilliant too.

    Thank you so much to Cirque De Soleil for the whole experience. I couldn’t have asked for a better night to break the drought of date nights here.

    Nathan and I have resolved to go out more often, which can only be a good thing.

    Photo Credit: All photos except the Duo Trapeze Act are © Olivier Sampson Arcand
    Duo Trapeze Act photo: © Camirand and Cirque De Soleil Inc
    Costume Credit: Dominique Lemieux

  • What I’m reading and a giveaway of books

     

    Last week, I started reading the above book and fell in love with it. I can’t remember who recommended it, but it was someone whose tastes run similar to mine and I immediately went and bought the book here.

    Two days after it arrived, the first book in the series arrived in my mailbox. A slight mix up and I’m not sure what happened, but somehow, I have two copies of the first book, “Blood Ties”.

    Because of this, I was planning on giving it away, to one of my readers here. Then I thought about it a bit and realised that I actually have quite a lot of books here that I’ve enjoyed and I would like to share that around. These are all books that I’ve read and have since been languishing on my (overfull) bookshelves.

    So, I’m holding a giveaway.

    The prize:

    Including:

    Neil Gaiman: Stardust
    Neil Gaiman: Odd and the Frost Giants
    Pamela Hastings: Blood Ties
    Johanna Spyri: Heidi
    Charlaine Harris: Shakespeare’s Counsellor
    Ben Elton: Inconceivable
    Rowan McAuley: Sleep-over
    4 Ingredients Cookbook
    Jane Austen: Emma
    Eve Makis: The Mother-In-Law
    Jeanette Winterson: Oranges are not the only fruit

    So would you like to win?

    How to Enter

    Become a follower of this blog either by RSS or Friend Connect (both options available in the sidebar, over there to the right).

    Leave a comment telling me what your all time favourite book is. Which book is falling apart because you’ve read it so much?

    My favourite books are everything by Robin Hobb. They’re all falling apart due to overreading and I’m probably about ready to replace the Assassin series.

    That’s it.

    If you’d like an extra entry, you can tweet this post as well (make sure you cc me in @SleeplessNights) and come back and leave me a comment telling me that you’ve tweeted it.

    For another extra entry, sign up for the new Sleepless Nights newsletter and then leave a comment letting me know you did.

    There is also a possibility that depending on postage, I might add an extra few books to the box when I send it.

    Competition closes on the 29th of June at 8pm AEST and I will announce the winner shortly after that. Winner will be notified via email and will have a week to reply to me, before another winner is drawn. Competition is only open to people with an Australian mailing address.

  • Golden Syrup Apple Crumble – the BEST kind.

    I mentioned on twitter earlier that Golden Syrup Crumble is probably one of the best things to eat straight from the mixing bowl and suddenly it seemed that everyone wanted the recipe. I thought I’d best post it here, so that I can just send the link.

    Golden Syrup Apple Crumble

    Ingredients:

    1/4 c of SR flour
    1/2 c of rolled oats
    1 teaspoon of mixed spice
    1/4 c of butter
    1/4 c of golden syrup
    1/8 c of sugar (leave it out if you don’t like it super sweet – I was feeling in desperate need of sugar)

    Method:

    Pop all of the ingredients into a stand mixer and mix until it looks like crumble. A food processor would also work, although be careful, because you don’t want to grind your oats to powder.

    If you’re using your hands, rub the butter into the flour with your fingertips, then add the oats and golden syrup and expect to get messy. Using a wooden spoon, or a knife, stir everything together until it’s combined.

    Use it on top of whatever fruit you’ve got handy, bake in an oven dish at 180C for 15 minutes or so.

    Today I used canned peaches and golden delicious apples, I’ve used an entire tin of fruit salad (drained) before and I had a delicious crumble using apple and blackberries, before the frost and birds put paid to the blackberries. The only time it’s failed is when I used frozen mixed berries, which are frankly, horrendous tasting.

    Golden Syrup Apple Crumble

  • Yes, I am still getting married.

    Despite Nathan consistently doing things that set my teeth on edge and make me want to throw coffee cups at him, I am still rather in love with him and we’re getting married.

    Actually, counting down, we’re getting married in around 5 months and aside from reading a few magazines kindly sent to me by Sharon and Naomi, I have planned absolutely nothing.

    Okay, that’s a lie. We have the basic ideas planned, but the execution of the actual events that need to happen to allow us to get married, well, meh. She’ll be right.

    I’m certain things are going to be fine. I mean, sure, we need to buy some stuff and buying stuff takes money, but it will all work out. Right?

    Our plans are relatively fluid still – get married in our paddock, wear a pretty dress, have a celebrant, eat good food with friends and have a relaxing afternoon. Surely that can’t be too hard to pull off.

    And then I remember that I need to work out where everyone will sit and how we’ll manage to have enough cutlery and where the tables should be set up and how to lock up 30* ducks and chooks who are rather too curious for their own good and are able to fly.

    I also remember that we need to start writing down who we’re inviting and maybe think about getting some invitations printed and probably, maybe, we ought to start a List of Things that need to Happen.

    So, we’re getting married and it’s going to be FUN.

    Plus, I’ve been convinced into live streaming it online, for the benefit of my friends who are living too far away to come and celebrate with me in person.

    Now I just need to find the money to pay for the bloody thing.

    *30 minus 4 ducks, who are actually on the menu and therefore, don’t need locking up because they won’t be flying around.