Category: Life

Dear Collective Power of the Internets,

Potty training. What’s the deal with that?

Now I wasn’t going to talk about potty training here, but I am so freaking sick of it.

Amy will not poo in the potty or on the toilet. She’s dry all day with accidents being very rare. BUT, if she needs to poo, she will ask (scream, wail, cry) for a nappy so she can poo.

I have no idea how to proceed. She understands everything we say, but flat down refuses to poo in anything other than a nappy.

Things that haven’t worked so far:

Bribes
Stickers
Reward charts
Chocolate
Growling
Pleading
Crying
Ignoring
Ice-cream
More Bribes

Things that have worked:

Uh. Nothing. She has never pooed in a potty. Ever.

So. You guys have a ton of collective knowledge between you. What worked for you?

Note: If we refuse to put a nappy on her, she will just wail, scream and cry and then not poo at all. At least, not until we put her in a nappy for bedtime. I’m not prepared to have her just in knickers overnight because she wets the bed between 2-4am and seriously, we’re not getting enough sleep as it is without adding in wetting the bed stress. She is not constipated, she is just stubborn.

Sigh.

A few quick polls. Only, without the easy clicky poll thing because well, I’ve never done one and I can’t be bothered.

ONE:

Who is going to win, a 6 week old kitten or my mice?

Yes, I am adding to my insanity and getting a kitten. Or two. Shush in the back there.

What I want to know is, do you think I can teach a kitten to catch mice, before the mice overrun it, tie it up with string, carry it into the roof cavity and roll it in butter and pastry?

(No, I don’t know the sex of the kitten/s. They were found abandoned and have been offered on Freecycle. I may possibly have a soft spot for small abandoned animals that need loving. A big soft spot. Again, shush in the back.)

TWO:

In a fight between me and Amy’s hair, who should come out the winner?

I’m asking because I managed to dislocate my thumb joint (near the wrist) brushing Amy’s hair. I’m not sure if this means Amy’s hair is the master of getting matted and horrible, or my joints suck.

Probably both.

THREE:

There is no three. It just seemed stupid to only have two.

Dear Isaac,

Gosh we’re getting to spend some quality time together lately. There is no doubt about the fact that I find you simply delicious and could kiss you all day.

However.

If you’re smiling and not sleeping at 4am, then I’m probably not in the right mood to appreciate your deliciousness. If you are still smiling and not sleeping 2.5 hours later at 6.30am, then I’m really in no mood for baby softness.

You know what happens shortly after 6.30? Your sister wakes up.

And sure, I could sleep while she plays in our child-proof house (child-proof in the sense that nothing can kill her. Not in the sense that she can kill nothing), but last time I did that things went terribly horribly badly wrong. So wrong in fact that I haven’t blogged about it yet because it was that bad.

(And because I’m hoping that Canon might just cover my camera, despite what Amy did to it being non-warranty covered damage. It may have involved my precious love of my life camera, a bored 2yo, a mother who fell asleep breastfeeding, a container and some water. It. Was. Bad.)

So baby boy, it’s now 11.26pm and on a regular night, you would have been asleep 3 hours ago. Funny how kids like to save up all their sleeplessness in order to wear down their parents. If you weren’t such a sunny child, I would suspect that you and Amy are plotting together.

Instead of being asleep properly though, you are cat napping. I know I have said this before, but cat naps are for cats. Not for babies. Stop it.

Waking up 20 minutes after you fall asleep screaming like a banshee is not good for me sweetheart. It makes Mummy tired. When Mummy gets too tired Mummy can’t sleep because Mummy vomits all night. Which in turn makes everything worse.

Worse than that though? If I get too tired, I cannot play fun games like aeroplanes, or bouncing, or tickle the baby, because I am just too tired. Then you get bored and you cry and I cry and it’s just a vicious cycle.

So really, wouldn’t it be easier to just fall asleep already for me? Like, right now?

Please?

I love you, even when you don’t sleep.

-Mummy.

***

We’re both snuggled up in bed together at the moment. I’m playing on my laptop and Isaac is next to me in his three sided cot looking at the wall, playing with his hands and making noises. Sleep? Hahahaha.

Maybe later.

I think it’s The Revolution all over again. Sleep is for the weak.

… and headaches.

Orgasms.

You’re welcome.