Sleepless Nights

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  • Yes, I am still getting married.

    Despite Nathan consistently doing things that set my teeth on edge and make me want to throw coffee cups at him, I am still rather in love with him and we’re getting married.

    Actually, counting down, we’re getting married in around 5 months and aside from reading a few magazines kindly sent to me by Sharon and Naomi, I have planned absolutely nothing.

    Okay, that’s a lie. We have the basic ideas planned, but the execution of the actual events that need to happen to allow us to get married, well, meh. She’ll be right.

    I’m certain things are going to be fine. I mean, sure, we need to buy some stuff and buying stuff takes money, but it will all work out. Right?

    Our plans are relatively fluid still – get married in our paddock, wear a pretty dress, have a celebrant, eat good food with friends and have a relaxing afternoon. Surely that can’t be too hard to pull off.

    And then I remember that I need to work out where everyone will sit and how we’ll manage to have enough cutlery and where the tables should be set up and how to lock up 30* ducks and chooks who are rather too curious for their own good and are able to fly.

    I also remember that we need to start writing down who we’re inviting and maybe think about getting some invitations printed and probably, maybe, we ought to start a List of Things that need to Happen.

    So, we’re getting married and it’s going to be FUN.

    Plus, I’ve been convinced into live streaming it online, for the benefit of my friends who are living too far away to come and celebrate with me in person.

    Now I just need to find the money to pay for the bloody thing.

    *30 minus 4 ducks, who are actually on the menu and therefore, don’t need locking up because they won’t be flying around.

  • 7 things I could have written about instead.

    Apparently poking around in the internet and discussing criticism isn’t popular and can lead to (incorrect) accusations of defamation and all that kind of thing. Which sort of proved my point about why we don’t criticise, but I digress.

    So I give you a list of things I could have written about instead.

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    1 – Kittens. It’s the internet and we need a good dose of kittens. Just because I don’t have any kittens of my own should not stop me talking about them. Even better? Kittens with rainbows. And maybe a unicorn. Can we get a kitten spewing sparkly unicorns over here please? I think I need one.

    2 – My hearing, or the lack thereof. Isaac had a hearing test last week and passed with flying colours, so he’s definitely autistic and not just a bit deaf (duh). The issue is, I didn’t hear any of the low tones during the test. Hearing tests for everybody!

    3 – The Mummy Bloggers Blog. You know I’m working closely with Louisa to run the Mummy Bloggers Blog and I’ve had a few posts go up over there? No? Well, now you know. You should subscribe to us.

    4 – Elephant. Or specifically, the fact that Klout says I am an influencer in the field of Elephant. I blame Isaac and his ability to count to Elephant and the Elephant we apparently have on the roof. I keep telling him it’s just a duck, but no, apparently things that thump around, quacking, on the roof are Elephant. (For the record, he hasn’t read the hippo on the roof book.) If you want to talk about elephant, I am your girl.

    5 – Apples. I don’t know why, but I could have written about them. I like apples. Especially when I cover them with golden syrup crumble.

    6 – The garden. My apricot trees are dying and I’m not sure if they just don’t like the bathroom (possible, I hate the bathroom too) or if something else is happening. However, my purple cauliflower is doing rather nicely, even if it’s not actually looking cauliflower like.

    7 – How meanies on the Internet ruin it for everyone and community spirit is dead and can’t we all just get along (won’t someone PLEASE think of the CHILDREN?).

    I bet I could have written about lots of other things too, but I might save them to actually write about.

    What have you been not writing about this week?

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    PS: This is post number 900. It feels like I ought to have streamers and balloons falling from the ceiling or something, rather than a list post.

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    PPS, I have button advertising just about to run out on my sidebar, so if anyone is interested in advertising with me, let me know. Click through rates have been very good.

  • Let’s talk about criticism. Again.

    Criticism is a part of life. No one likes being criticised, but it happens and generally, we learn from it. Maybe the soup was too salty, or your pitch not quite good enough, or the campaign you’re working on got knocked back. Maybe you got the wrong socks out from the drawer, or sent the wrong letter to a client. Needless to say, criticism is going to happen.

    In real life, it stings a bit, but we usually get over it and get better at what we’re doing.

    The thing is, critics aren’t evil people hating monsters and we don’t tend to believe that they are when they show up in real life. Sure, we might fantasise a bit about a voodoo doll full of pins, but when the sting wears off, we’re left with the constructive bits that we can learn from.

    So, why is it that as soon as someone online pops up and is even the slightest bit critical of anything, everyone jumps on them and declares them a hater and a troll and rabble rabble rabble rabble.

    It’s not healthy to disallow criticism.

    Yes, there is a fine line between critical and bitchy and some people walk that line and fall on both sides occasionally, but I can’t see why criticism is a bad thing.

    But it’s funny, this online world of ours, because we don’t criticise. It’s all happy happy joy joy and good for you and god forbid, if we disagree, we do in the most self deploring terms ever, with apologies peppered through it. Why should I apologise for disagreeing with someone, if I’m doing it in a respectful manner? Why do I feel the need to start the sentences with “I’m sorry, but…” before making my own point.

    It’s getting a bit ridiculous.

    I’ve found myself purposely staying silent over issues simply because I didn’t want to rock the boat. And maybe that’s fine, but not rocking the boat can be a bad thing too.

    Why shouldn’t I say that I’m unhappy about the Bloggers Manifesto because it sounds scarily like a post of mine on Ethics and Integrity I wrote before the Aussie Bloggers Conference? What scares me so much about disagreeing, that I would purposely stay silent, for fear of the waves?

    Yes, I’ve had the emails telling me that the Manifesto was created long before my post went live and that I’m making too much of things – but I’ve also seen the forum post saying that the manifesto was rewritten and simplified from the original document, after the conference, weeks after my post was written and received well within the community (and yes, I know who read it, my statcounter has labelled IP’s). I don’t think that the original writer was using my post as inspiration, but when it was rewritten, by someone else, that’s when it changed into something very similar to what I’d written.

    So why do I feel like I should say nothing?

    Criticism isn’t going to tear a community apart, not when there are so many bloggers and this construct of community is so broad and encompasses so many things. Criticism is going to make us look at our practices and work out what works best and what doesn’t work at all.

    And you know what? Sometimes criticism hurts and we don’t like it.

    Not liking something doesn’t mean that there isn’t a place for it.

  • An open letter to the spiders in my house

    [No photos because I haven’t taken any.]

    Dear Spiders that live in my house,

    I’m officially putting you on notice.

    Up until this point in time, you’ve been allowed to live in various corners, without being molested, squashed or destroyed. I allowed you to do this in the hope that you would do something either a) interesting or b) useful – both of those things involving flies.

    If I thought I was seeing a noticeable difference in the amount of house flies I was seeing inside the house, I would not be writing this. If you were doing something interesting, like eating flies, or spinning webs, you would also not be in trouble.

    I let you stay, hoping that I would be able to photograph a decent insect massacre, or show the children how you kill flies, but it appears that all you’re doing is creating unfancy dust collectors in my corners and threatening to bite me when I drop the curtain rod on myself.

    You’ve got one more week. If I don’t see any improvement in your behaviour by then, I’m going to vacuum you.

    You’ve been warned.

    Sincerely,

    Not Impressed With Your Behaviour House Owner.

  • A simple guide to blogging wrong: For everyone who doesn’t want to make money, or jump on bandwagons

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    11 Steps to Blogging Wrong, according to my scientific study of bloggers.

    1 – Refuse to sign anything. If it requires an electronic signature, it can be considered a bandwagon and you probably don’t want to jump on it.

    2 – Post only when you want to, but write as often as you need to.

    3 – Take inspiration from your friends and copy what they do, insomuch as it works for you. Give credit, always.

    4 – Change things. Develop a brand, change your mind and start again. Rework your theme, decide to be different.

    5 – Find a big blogger, work out what they are doing wrong and then don’t do those things.

    6 – Listen to critcism. Critics are usually right and only in some cases does it stem from jealousy. Maybe you ARE boring. Decide to change (see point 4).

    7 – Remind yourself that NO ONE IS THE BOSS. You will forget this, over and over. No one can tell you what to do. If you’re not breaking any laws, you’re going to be okay.

    8 – Resist the urge to listen to the ‘Yer doin it WRONG’ crowd. Wrong doesn’t exist. You can’t do it wrong.

    9 – Listen to your gut, always.

    10 – Find your crowd. Find the people who understand your humour and love what you write. Don’t pay attention to how many of them there are. Two good readers who get you are better than 50 who don’t.

    11 – Ignore everything I’ve said and walk your own path. Decide what you want to do and do it. Ask questions of people you trust and work out what works for you.

    That’s it.